Grade This! - April 29, 2005
Judy Punches Out
Some call it the domino effect. I call it the These People Are Getting Really Old and Need to Retire Effect. After 30 years in journalism and 12 years at CNN, Inside Politics host Judy Woodruff becomes the latest big-time name in mainstream media to call it quits. Judy will always be remembered for her trademark bob haircut and sometimes eccentric style. But what will become of Inside Politics? Here are some of my top picks for Judy’s replacement: John Bolton, once his UN nomination finally tanks; LA Times reporter Ron Brownstein, the way he dominates those Lou Dobb’s panels he is just desperate for his own show; John King, he wants off that White House beat real bad; Anybody but Candy Crowley.
Media Dinosaurs Retiring: A
Judy Woodruff’s sense of style: C
John Bolton: Still an F-
Media Divas: D
Marcus Mrowka, George Washington University
 Semper Fidel: Delay Lights Up
House Majority Leader Tom DeLay last year described buying Cuban products as aiding the “blood-thirsty” Fidel Castro. “American consumers will get their fine cigars and their cheap sugar, but at the cost of our national honor,” he said. Well, it turns out that DeLay, who has shown very little regard for our national honor (I believe he actually lent it to Jack Abramoff who mistook it for a handkerchief), was smoking a Cuban about a year ago. It’s just like my father always said, if you can’t be consistent, you might as well be a self-righteous ass.
Cigars: F (if inside), B (if outside)
Cuban Cigars: No clue, never had one – they’re illegal
Tom DeLay: F, as always, and detention
Matt Singer, University of Montana
Thousand-Year-Old Manuscripts and Whether or Not They Reflect Modern America
Last week The Independent reported the possibility of a second renaissance. "As we report today, infra-red technology has enabled hundreds of ancient Greek comedies, tragedies and epic poems, composed by classical greats such as Sophocles, Euripides and Hesiod, to be deciphered for the first time in 2,000 years." But the little Miss Muffet of literature can’t sit on her tuffet for long. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her. Alabama state Representative Gerald Allen recently introduced a law that prohibits public school libraries from buying new books that are by or about gay people. "It’s not healthy for America, it doesn’t fit what we stand for," says Allen. Let’s hope Allen doesn’t have a problem with Sophocles. Initially Allen considered adding Shakespeare to his “banned” list. After some deep thought on the matter, he’s realized the importance of old Billy Shakespeare.
Book Banning in the 21st Century: F
Frightening Miss Muffet away: F-
A Chance at a Second Renaissance: Priceless
Courtney Foley, George Washington University
Handholding Trumps Terror
While the media were having a field day this week covering President Bush’s handholding of Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia during the leader’s visit to the “Western White House,” they seemed to ignore the fact that a member of Abdullah’s delegation was prohibited from entering the U.S. Why? The Agence France-Presse (AFP) wire service reports, “The US Department of Homeland Security, in a routine check of the delegation passenger manifest, found that one traveler was on a government list meant to screen out possible terrorists.” But Media Matters reports that none of the American mainstream media picked up on this and no administration official has been forced to comment on the issue. “A search of the Nexis news database reveals no coverage of the incident other than a reference to the AFP story in the Bulletin News Network’s Bulletin Frontrunner on April 27. A review of evening news shows on the major television networks found no stories on the subject since it was first reported by AFP.” Apparently male handholding trumps Saudi terrorism connections.
Media Matters Researchers: A
Mainstream Media ignoring this story while every time Ted Kennedy gets accidentally detained trying to get to Boston they swarm all over it: D
Homeland Security actually doing their job: A+
Marcus Mrowka, George Washington University
Tom Cruise, Always at the Nick Awards!
Yesterday it was confirmed, courtesy of MSNBC.com, that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are officially dating! Holmes, 26, recently broke off her engagement to up-and-coming hottie, of American Pie fame, Chris Klein…and in an unexpected twist, ends up with the establishment that is Tom Cruise only a couple of months later. MSNBC.com is also quick to note that when Cruise got his big break in Risky Business, Holmes was only 4 years old.
Katie Holmes dumping Chris Klein to get with everybody’s favorite short man: C
Cruise going from heavy-hitters Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz to Dawson’s Creek’s Prom Queen: C
America’s infatuation with the love lives of celebrities: F
Beards: B
LaChandra Jones, Florida
Yes, Another Damn Item About Napoleon Dynamite
Since hitting theatres last June, the low-budget indie flick Napoleon Dynamite has trickled through the minds of millions of America’s youth, and the result has made lasting impressions. DVD sales reached $44 million in one week, a new line of collectible toys have been introduced, and countless blogs, fan sites and clubs abound on the net. When stars of the film visited Iowa University this week, the crowd packed Iowa State University’s C.Y. Stephens Auditorium wearing “Vote for Pedro” ringer t-shirts. The Notre Dame Observer, among others, recently published a how-to piece on throwing your own Napoleon Dynamite theme party. Although some have dubbed the movie plotless, too overtly quirky and boring, the generation gap is clear. “Napoleon Dynamite” has joined the pop culture icon status with other notable movies like “Rebel without a Cause,” Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Dazed and Confused.”
Cheap, PG-13 movies moving past cult status to characterize generation Y and beyond: A+
Defining a generation on a Hollywood shoe-string budget of under a million: B+
Tator Tots, Chapstick and Ligers: Sweet.
Jennifer Daniel, Alabama
Al Gore Joins G-Unit
Since his electoral dissappointments in 2000, Al has gone through several aesthethic changes. First he kind of bulked up, then he grew a tangled fisherman’s beard, and now, apparently, he is sporting some tats. Sort of. On this week’s haunting cover of The Nation, Gore has been photoshopped with do-rag, oversize jersey, plenty of bling, and a gothic-style tattoo that reads “Tipper.” After viewing it once I shuddered, but I can’t stop staring at it. The cover image accompanies a critical article about Current, Gore’s new youth cable channel set to launch August 1st which has received mixed reviews. I can only assume that Gore will take his blinged out likeness with a grain of salt and a sense of humor, unlike Ann Coulter, who screamed liberal bias over a photograph of her in Time magazine that made her look like a spindly praying mantis.
Al Gore’s sartorial experimentation: B
The overly long and highly sanitized Coulter profile in Time: D
Current’s chances for success: B-
Current’s planned hourly updates on the top ten google searches: A-
Elana Berkowitz, Campus Progress
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