I may be the only girl who does not have an unhealthy obsession with Tom Brady. In fact, I'll go so far as to say I hate the guy. For all I know he’s a very nice person (baby-momma drama notwithstanding), but I cannot forgive him for defeating my beloved St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. However, while I may never love Brady, I know that his presence in Super Bowl XLII piqued the interest of people like my four housemates. But they didn't watch just because of his beautifully chiseled cheekbones and rugged exterior. No, they, Justin-Timberlake-and-The-Notebook-loving girls, watched and will continue to watch the Super Bowl regardless of the handsome men involved. They have never even considered the fact that not watching the big game is an option.

Last week, as the five of us planned how we would finish our homework before Sunday's game, I found myself wishing I had Monday off. While I usually spend Sundays preparing for the coming week, on this particular Sunday I needed to devote myself to guacamole, commercials, and a historic Patriots defeat. I then began to wonder why the Monday after the Super Bowl has not yet been designated a national holiday. Beyond my own homework needs, there are a number of compelling reasons why the day following the Super Bowl should be a holiday celebrated by every red-blooded American.

First and foremost, the Super Bowl is a uniquely American event. The United States has given the world some of its favorite sports—Argentina and Europe regularly stock the NBA with fresh talent and have impressive leagues and national teams in their own rights. The same applies to Latin America, the Caribbean, and Japan with Major League Baseball. But football is different. Other than the short-lived NFL Europa and the decently solid Canadian Football League, attempts to export American football have been few and far between, and for good reason: American football just doesn’t stick elsewhere. It’s arguably the only sport America has created that has, in the long run, appealed only to North Americans. And "appealed" is a huge understatement: The NFL is the most popular, profitable professional sports league in the world, and college football is itself a multimillion-dollar industry. Like apple pie and McDonald’s, football is uniquely American.

Super Bowl Monday—there’s already a grassroots website devoted to the idea—would actually be more American than Columbus Day. Revisionist history has proven that Columbus was just as much an exploiter and murderer as he was an explorer. Objectively speaking, which seems more worthy of celebration, a distinctly American phenomenon or a rapacious plunderer?

And what about Valentine’s Day? It’s obviously just a holiday manufactured to get Americans to spend money and celebrate consumer culture. The Super Bowl is too, of course—but unlike Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t wrap itself in gaudy pink fur and pretend to be something else. The Super Bowl keeps it real—“This is really about football,” it tells us, winking, before cracking up. “Okay, just kidding—it’s about American excess.” Given the choice between a holiday that is open about celebrating the synthesis of all media for the sake of advertising, and one that’s fueled by many of the same forces but pretends to be about Finding True Love (and which backs up this assertion with an endless stream of gag-inducing cards and oversized teddy bears), I’ll take the former, thank you very much.

And in that same vein, the Super Bowl is also holiday-worthy because it offers something for just about everyone. Even without the cute guys, the NFL makes sure that non-football fans have plenty of other reasons to be attracted to the game, from the halftime show to the commercials. Those who complain about how commercialized the game has become are missing the point: The Super Bowl, as the ultimate celebration of consumer culture and the art of mass-media advertising, is now about more than just football. The game’s loud, shrill-voiced, oversexed accoutrements have become a part of the tradition and extend the appeal far beyond conventional football fans. Why else would so many millions of Americans who are otherwise uninterested in football tune in “just to watch the ads”?

More than anything, major holidays are about getting together with friends and family. The Super Bowl has mastered this part of the equation. I’ve already been asked multiple times this week about my Super Bowl plans. Even if the game, the commercials, or the halftime show do not appeal to someone, it is still highly probable that they will be in the presence of people watching the game. People gather together in varying group sizes to collectively eat, drink, and, well, be merry. In fact, it is similar to that other American holiday, Thanksgiving, in that there is an incredible—and totally secular—emphasis on togetherness. If binge eating and overexposure to other people does not constitute a holiday, I don’t know what does.

I am not going to say that not watching the Super Bowl is anti-American, because that would be an over-the-top claim. However, I can say rather confidently that not attending a Super Bowl event or not watching the game is be similar to not celebrating Thanksgiving, in that it would be going against an established American social norm.

There are also practical reasons for creating Super Bowl Monday—and not just because it would ease the hangover recovery periods for millions of Americans. For one thing, countless parents cruelly deprive their children of the opportunity to watch the Super Bowl—that is, to experience the ultimate lesson in how American culture and commerce work—simply because the game runs so late and kids have school in the morning. Super Bowl Monday would immediately erase this impediment toward creating the next generation of media-savvy American consumers.

In the end, people can complain all they want to about the scandals surrounding some professional football players, from Ray Lewis' murder charges to Michael Vick’s dog-fighting, but those blemishes do not make football any less American. Some athletes may misbehave, but the sport is still as beautiful as ever. Americans love football. Americans love spectacle. Americans love being told what to buy in as ostentatious a manner as possible. On Super Bowl Sunday, they combine all these loves for a few precious hours. Yesterday, they drank their beers, ate their wings, and enjoyed the game; I did, too, at the price of my schoolwork and my diet. Unfortunately, I still had to get up for my 8:50 class this morning because America has yet to create Super Bowl Monday. All I can do is hope that one day we will, much like I hope that the Rams will soon return to the Super Bowl. But, if you know anything about football, you know I am probably going to be waiting for quite some time.

Brittany Schulman is an Editorial Intern at Campus Progress.

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Comments

1. To me, Super Bowl Sunday is a dying tradition. Hardly any of my friends even watch it anymore (they can see the ads online), and I was hardly aware the Superbowl was yesterday, until a female friend of mine told me her chosen team had won.

   What’s fun about watching a bunch of guys in tights bashing into eachother for an oddly-shaped ball anyway?

   Personally it just seems like a big waste of time to me. Yesterday, I spent the day as I do every Sunday: I woke up at noon, played video games until 9, did homework, and went to bed at 10. Didn’t hear until the superbowl until just before 9.

   — Xbot - Feb 4, 01:40 PM - #
   
   

2. We don’t even get a day off to vote or a holiday to remember 9/11. It was a great game, but I think this is pretty far down on the list of unrealized vacation days.

   — Kyle Gracey - Feb 7, 07:56 PM - #
   
   

3. yeah. what could be more american than stopping everything to chug some beers, watch large overpaid men chuck a pig skin around, and celebrate the pageantry of spectacle? indeed, the penultimate of american holy daze!

   — stephan!e - Feb 7, 08:29 PM - #
   
   

4. yes, this is a pretty lame cause. who ever said “american” was a good thing to begin with? and what about the sexism of it all? half naked women on the sidelines ra ra raing a bunch of aggro men. give me a break.

   — jesse - Feb 7, 08:32 PM - #
   
   

5. I hope this essay is a joke, because otherwise I cannot see how it aligns with any progressive thought whatsoever. A brand new holiday that encourages Americans to consume, consume, consume? We’ve got enough of those. A day off to ease your hangover and catch up on whatever homework the author couldn’t manage to finish before 6 pm? Take some responsibility for yourself and/or be like every other college student and skip your 8:50 class. I guarantee everyone else did.

   Furthermore, football at almost any level breeds violent behavior in the name of being the toughest, the manliest, the most fearless, and so on. Look at Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, rape and assault by athletes, rather than brush them aside as anomalies. Then consider the way football sucks funds from other sports at the high school and university level. (Somehow, outfitting 80-some athletes and providing them with scholarships is less threatening than any women’s sport, especially to sports like men’s wrestling and gymnastics. Hence the continuing drama over sports funding and Title IX.)

   The only reasons I can find to think this piece was a joke (albeit not very funny) come in the lines, “Even without the cute guys, the NFL makes sure that non-football fans have plenty of other reasons to be attracted to the game” [because non-fans are all girls who would only want to watch this oh-so-American event for chiseled cheekbones) and “countless parents cruelly deprive their children of the opportunity to watch the Super Bowl—that is, to experience the ultimate lesson in how American culture and commerce work—simply because the game runs so late and kids have school in the morning.” I actually laughed out loud at this line.

   — lucky - Feb 8, 01:17 AM - #
   
   

6. I agree with Brittany. We should have a Super Bowl Monday for exactly all of the reasons she mentioned. And to comment on Kyle’s statement that we don’t get a holiday to vote…isn’t the Super Bowl more unifying than politics – even better is that the end result of the Super Bowl won’t upset you for the next 4 years (unless you’re a buffalo bills fan) ...besides only 126 million Americans voted in the 2004 presidential election compare that to the 97.5 million who viewed the Super Bowl and I think that we have a close race as to what is important to all Americans.

   — Kasmore - Feb 8, 01:03 PM - #
   
   

7. I seriously hope this is a joke, because it’s a terrible idea. Although I watch (and enjoy) the Super Bowl with my friends and family each year, I find this proposal competently ridiculous.

   Other American holidays honor our nation’s veterans and great leaders like Martin Luther King and our presidents. Creating a holiday to celebrate what you admit has become a “oversexed” celebration of “consumer culture” and “mass-media advertising” would be an insult to every other holiday. I agree that Columbus Day should be axed, but do we seriously want a day that celebrates the worst aspects of American culture?!?

   I’d rather make election day a holiday. That way we can all gather around the tv, eat guacamole, and celebrate democracy at its finest.

   — Ian Magruder - Feb 10, 02:31 AM - #
   
   

8. I have to highly disagree with the comments on this board. The idea of a establishing the Monday after the Super Bowl as a nationally recognized holiday is more than appropriate. The Super Bowl is truely an american event that’s celebrated in living rooms all over the country bringing friends and family together. It is a uniquely universal slice of americana that we should be allowed to celebrate with an extra day off.

   — Hans Steiniger - Jan 29, 04:34 PM - #