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Let me begin by apologizing to you fine people for making it seem as though this conference has any merit. Me and conventionette left this awful thing early when we came to the consensus that these people had nothing important to offer. In my time in DC and in politics in general, I have seen speeches by legislatures from Teddy Kennedy to Orrin Hatch. I have covered the "War on Christians" conference, attended many events at the Center for American Progress, and watched plenty of 24 hour news stations. Of all of the things I have seen, these Academic Freedom bastards are by far the most unimpressive and uninspiring.

The majority of the people in attendance were either on one of the panels or were a spouse/ child/ assistant to a panel member. Most the people who asked questions during the Q&A were called on by name by David Horowitz. They would then spend a few minutes talking about how grateful they are for Davey and then would lob him some childish question about his infinite expertise on academia. I have never been in such a room of ass kissing and back patting in my life. It was an orgy of self- gratitude. A circle jerk of congratulatory nonsense. Sorry for the illicit sexual references but I have to make this interesting somehow.

The headliner was to be Horowitz himself but there was a problem with him being the climax: Horowitz was on pretty much every panel. He actually had the balls to set up a conference featuring himself in almost every aspect of it. The interesting thing, however, was how unimpressive Davey was. I was expecting a guy who had the audience in the palm of his hand every time he opened his mouth. I figured that in order to get people to sign on to such a terrible and unnecessary idea as the Academic Bill of Rights (ABOR) he would have to be a charismatic charmer that made you think everything he said was infallible. What I got instead was a genuine loser that would mope up to the microphone, struggle through a speech of scattered thoughts and random anecdotes, and then duck back down into his chair to wait for his next turn. In between panels, he would walk through the crowds of people on his own with few people talking to him. Perhaps it was because they all already knew him. Perhaps it was because he just has an aura of awkwardness. Either way, this tiny man is not the fierce leader I expected. He mentioned in one of his five addresses how he has been compared to Lenin, Trotsky, and Hitler. These comparisons are not only ridiculous in the obvious sense that all Hitler references are ridiculous, but also in the sense that those men were great leaders with wicked causes. Horowitz is a weasel with a bad cause.

The culmination of my time there came when Tom Kirger, a big wig of the American Federation of Teachers asked Horowitz why, if this is a non- partisan issue as Horowitz claims, all of the kids on an earlier panel about abuses on campus were self proclaimed conservative activists. Davey kicked into action. His rant gradually got louder and more absurd and somehow ended up with him talking about a Socialist textbook being read in schools and shouting "You're the AFT, you wont stick up to it, you're to busy defending Sami al- Aryan and other terrorists."

I am going to put this in a Q&A format.
Q: Why are there no liberal students on these panels?
A: You support socialism and terrorism.

If anything this conference is just proof to the sane that Horowitz is not as influential as we might think. He has money, which was spent on fantastic crab cakes, a few friends, all of whom were as dull and boring as Davey himself, and a short fuse that usually ends with him accusing someone of being a terrorist enthusiast.

I don't want to be all negative in my posting on this conference. I would like to congratulate Sean Allen-- the 16 year- old from Colorado who tape recorded his professor comparing Bush II to Hitler-- on winning the first annual Sean Allen Award. The Sean Allen Award is for those who show courage in the name of academic freedom and resist indoctrination in the classroom. So again, congratulations to Sean Allen on winning the Sean Allen award. To the rest of the nominees, you gave it your best and that's all you can ask of yourselves. Better luck next year!


Brandon McBride
Everything has gone horribly wrong. That's what the Academic Freedom Conference has taught me. I talked to several of the 60 people in the conference room at the Washington Square Hotel and they all either mentioned the college Republicans, were Republican state legislators, or were person chums with Davey Horowitz. A very red crowd indeed. So why would all of these hard line Republicans, members of the small government party, get together and talk about imposing HUGE government imposed control on schools. And it is HUGE. You can tell from my use of capitol letters. This little get together is just a big damn oxymoron as far as I can see.

In the welcome reception address Rep. Jack Kingston (R- GA) mentioned that he, as a Republican, doesn't like government being put into action to impose heavy restrictions on society. He then went on to give a table of young collegians at the front table some sound advice on how to confront this issue. Get online, write blogs and give ratings on the many available websites that give students a chance to review professors. Bravo sir! That is it! You have done it! That's why you were elected! It's a simple, fair, idea. If you don't like a professor, you get out of his class, write about why you didn't like him so others can be warned, and move on. In his brief speech J- King told a story of Ronald Reagan's granddaughter being in a class where the professor said, "I will accept you no matter who you are. Communist, socialist, Democrat, independent. Just as long as you aren't Republican." Whether this actually happened isn't what I am concerned with. My interest is in what the Reagan did. She got out of the class. I am not justifying the professors alleged comment; Ignorance is bad, m- kay. I am merely suggesting it's a quick fix NOT needing some ridiculous legislation.

These people are good people, just confusing and confused. The meanest brute I met at this thing was actually Ward Churchill. Other then him, everyone was very nice. Just misled. And with incentive. One member of the Students for Academic Freedom told me if I started a chapter, within the week I would be shipped more materials on the matter then I would know to do with. Horowitz and his crew of scallywags just know how to make the children feel loved and important and they in turn speak out for him. More to come unless I am thrown out. Like I said, this is not a large crowd. Pretty easy to root out the progressives.

Brandon McBride
It's finally over. If there was a way in internet jargon to signify a deep sigh of relief, I'd type it in--but since there really isn't, let me just say: I don't think I would have made it another day. Eventually my mental stability would have cracked and I would have gone off to live in a cave somewhere in Montana. But I made it, and I'm happy to say that I came out of it all the wiser. I really learned a lot this weekend, and I was glad that I got such an unadulterated look into the collective conservative psyche. What did I learn, you ask? Well:

One: Conservatives seem to want the government to stay out of their affairs when it comes to economic issues, but when it's a social issue that they feel threatened by, such as a woman's right to choose or homosexual marriage, more government seems to be the way to go.

Two: Conservatives employ a right-leaning tie knot as a subtle method of mass indoctrination--no, I have no proof, and Conventionette seemed to think I was a little crazy, but it was totally the case.

Three: despite the fact that I myself am not Conservative, there are definitely conservatives that I feel I could have a good discussion with. I was thoroughly impressed by Newt Gingrich, and felt as if he was more focused on the public good than the red tape of politics.

Four: Free stuff kicks serious ass.

Five: somehow Hillary Clinton, the mainstream media, college professors, feminists, and Democrats are all collectively the devil.

Six: There are actually people willing to waste their time in an attempt to get Condoleezza Rice nominated to the presidential ballot in '08--which is fine with me, because I came out of it with an "I Like Rice" button. Now, I'm able to proudly proclaim my love for rice when before all I could do was eat it with a smile on my face and hope that people got the idea.

Seven: Finally, and perhaps most importantly, conservatives are on the rocks right now. They've been shaken up and somewhat demoralized by a preponderance of scandals affecting the Republican party, and the time is good for a large progressive movement. With the upcoming midterm elections, this is going to be a big point. Progressives need to get out and get active if we want to gain some sort of ideological and political upper hand within our government. But we need to learn from where we have failed, and where the conservatives have failed, and use that information to move forward.

All in all, it wasn't a totally horrible experience--except for the Coulter speech. And maybe, because I'm a nice guy, I'll give this little piece of advice to the young conservatives out there: Want to garner interest and support in your movement? Don't support a racist warmonger--which Ms. Coulter clearly is.

Disturbing and offensive speeches aside, I saw a level of resolve and fervor this weekend that made me all the more committed to the progressive movement. I hate to sound like I'm mudslinging here, but the conservative ideology seems to be, to me, one of selfishness.

I don't think it's such a bad thing that those with should have a duty to help those without. You want to discuss morals with me, conservatives? Let's talk about sending less-fortunate children to school or subsidizing housing to those who are having trouble getting on their feet. Don't argue that there are people that take advantage of the system, because you'll have that anywhere. There are those who will take advantage of a free-market economy, an unmitigated interpretation of the second amendment, or the slippery slope path of legislating morality--and to think otherwise is naïve.

Finally, I hope you've all enjoyed the reports that Conventionette and I have brought to you, at least as much as we've enjoyed bringing them. It was certainly an experience I'll never forget, and I'm honored that I was able to share it with you all. I hope we can all take what we got out of this and move forward in a positive and productive direction.

-Adam DeDent
Ohio State University   Read More »
Don't feel like reading the entire recap? Check out my CPAC 2006 Day Three Quick Facts:

Ok, so I know I got rid of the Reagan Quotometer yesterday, but seeing as how there were scattered Reagan quotations throughout the day and Gingrich quoted him a whopping six times, I'll reinstate it, with the final count of heard Reagan quotes coming in at 19 for the three day event.

Official Swagventory Day Three:
18 Misc. pieces o' info
5 Magazines
5 Student newspapers
5 Thick reports
4 Bumper stickers
3 Business cards
2 Pens
1 Fake cell phone full of mints
1 Foam pig
1 Highlighter
1 Mug
1 Newspaper (The Washington Times, bleh)
1 Picture of Eisenhower
1 Poster
1 Shirt
Some Toilet paper with writing on it

Oddest Piece of Swag: Probably a toss up between the toilet paper and a business card urging me to "Join the Dark Side"--crazy conservatives--at least they're starting to admit what I've known for years.

Conservative Craziness Meter:
|----------|------|
0_____6__10
6. The students for the college panels were a bit extreme, and the NRA rep was (in my opinion) a loony toon, but Newt was all class, and so the craziness meter cooled off a bit. Had Newt not been so eloquent, we were probably looking at a rating somewhere in the 9 area. Well done.

After the room had finished listening to the respective accomplishments of the college panelists, the room was starting to get pretty crowded in anticipation of Newt Gingrich. After about 15 or so minutes, someone came out to introduce the man who was to introduce Newt. I have to say, that one day I hope I'm important enough to have my introducer be introduced--that's balla'.

Newt really floored me. He strayed away from the typical conservative demonization of Hillary, the media, and college professors, and really focused on core conservative issues. I daresay there were a couple of times in his speech when both I and Conventionette found ourselves agreeing with him. Whether that was a factor of his likeable speaking style or the merit of his arguments themselves, I don't know. But it was certainly impressive.

One of the best points he made was about the McCain-Feingold act, calling it "exclusively an assault on the First Amendment." He used the example of Mayor Bloomberg of NYC, citing how Bloomberg had put up $150 Million of his own money toward his two campaigns and that with all the restrictions presented by the McCain-Feingold Act, it was nearly impossible for an opposing candidate to match him. In this respect, the intention of the act--to protect the American people from a plutocracy--is backfiring.

In response, he proposed a law with two provisions: One, "The citizens of their congressional district or their state can donate any amount they want to candidates in their congressional district or their state, because we should re-bind the money power with the voting power so that the citizens back home have the bulk of the power to choose who represents them in Washington D.C." Two, "As a function of serving in the US House or the US Senate, you should give up the right to have any fundraiser of any kind in Washington D.C. and you should raise the money back home from the people you're supposed to represent." Newt claims that you would "in one stroke have re-centered power out of Washington and back in the grassroots." Personally, I don't think it's too bad an idea.

He did, however, did things that made me go "buh?" (Seriously, I think that's the sound I made). First of all, the beginning of his speech was focused on the poster child of Conservatism, the go-to guy we all know as Ronald Reagan. As such, he quoted Reagan around 6 times. I wasn't sure if I was listening to Newt Gingrich speak or Ronald Reagan by proxy. He also seemed to be pretty down on Lawyers, which I didn't think was very cool only because my mother is one and I have an immense respect for her; as well as entertaining notions of entering into the law profession myself someday.

The bulk of his speech was essentially split into three parts: Ronald Reagan, campaign reform and governmental corruption, and the ineffectiveness of large government bureaucracies. Though there were many things I didn't agree with ideologically, I found myself considerably less resistant to his message than any other I heard at CPAC. He was eloquent, intelligent, as fair as he could be without seeming like an unfaithful conservative, and knowledgeable. It was an ok end to a conference in which I was almost perpetually agitated.

That's all for now, but you haven't heard the last of me. Check back Monday for my final CPAC wrap up, the reveal of the identities of Conventionette and I (despite the fact I'm pretty sure you don't care who we are) a final swag count, and some bodacious pictures that we snagged from the convention.

More to come…
First off, let me say I apologize for the tardiness of this post, but after spending three days straight at the CPAC the first thing on my mind was to meet up with my friends at Brickskellers and get toasted on expensive imported beer--most namely, a Scottish brew dubbed "Wee Beast." It was a pretty rockin' way to take my mind off free-market capitalism and the broken record comments about the media and college professors.

I wanted to devote an entire post to the panels focused on college students, but the problem is that the two panels were mostly devoid of anything worth reporting. The first most of all--it was essentially four conservative students coming up to the mic stating their respective accomplishments and the outrages committed against them by liberal accomplishments, to much accolade by the crowd. Of course, it was rife with odd statements and conservative contradictions. Take these tasty nuggets, for instance:

Rebecca Beach on her professor's comments about conservatives: "The First Amendment only goes so far…"

Ruth Malhotra on class assignments: "Required reading is so bias toward the leftist point of view…" Yea, I totally felt more progressive when I was reading Shakespeare's Hamlet or my astronomy textbook.

Ruth Malhotra, on the Animatrix: "that's some crazy hippie nonsense right there."

Luke Sheahan, on the merits of Oregon State: "If your campus is anything like mine, and it probably is, you probably don't learn a whole lot in class." Take note conservatives, these are your future leaders.

The last speaker didn't have much to say besides "yay me!" and "be a leader!" But nothing really that compelling or interesting. All in all, the first panel was pretty weak--but it did inspire in me two thoughts: One, I can tell you right now that of course there are barely any conservatives in college faculties--there's no money in it. Secondly, I am still not understanding why conservatives call for government intervention *cough Academic Bill of Rights *cough* when they are threatened by something, but when they have a leg up on others, they want the government to butt out. Understanding conservatism is like trying to explain theoretical physics to a toddler.

The second panel was a bit better in terms of content, but still offered little in the way of actual intelligent discussion--it was more of an hour long advertisement for the respective organizations--so there's really little to talk about. Despite that, I bring you some more crazy quotes:

Brad Shipp, on the state of liberal education systems: "Students aren't being educated, they're being indoctrinated." And I suppose that the goal of CPAC is to push students away from conservatism, right?

John Zmirak on the true problems of campuses: "The biggest problems on college campuses may not be leftist professors but chaotic dorms that oftentimes turn into orgies." Whoop-de-doo.

That's really all for now--nothing of any true substance in these discussions. Check back later today for my writeup on Gingrich and Day three wrapup, and tomorrow for my CPAC wrapup and final thoughts--and perhaps the Coulter interview, but no promises on that one yet.

More to come...
A quick post about the NRA speech because the rest of the speeches today are about college students--and since that's kind of what we do here at Campus Progress, I want to devote a post solely to those.

If I had to sum up the NRA Rep's (Wayne LaPierre) speech in one word, it would be: arrogant. Arrogance in a fashion that one can only see from the NRA. In his speech Mr. LaPierre bashed CBS's Mike Wallis, The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, France, most of the world at large, and generally anyone who didn't support 100%, uncompromising gun ownership. In a reference to the fact that The Brady Center held an anti-gun violence event at the French embassy, Mr. LaPierre said: "If you love France so much," (addressing the attendees of the Brady event as well as the pro-gun crowd) "why don't you just pack up and live there!"

I considered this last sentiment to be especially ironic, considering the guy's name is LAPIERRE. I could almost hear Will Ferrell's character from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back in my ear quipping: "Oh, sweet irony!" It was pretty great.

Throughout the speech, Mr. LaPierre showed several videos used to evidence his statements, including a spot about the aftermath of Katrina in which a Baptist pro-gun minister stated: "And I had my Bible, and I had my gun." As well as an elderly woman who was assaulted by police because when the officers came to evacuate her, she was being uncooperative and then all of a sudden had a pistol in her hand. That's just the thing about guns, I guess--they make the police nervous.

He finished by letting the crowd know that they would be using the events in New Orleans as a tactic in their new campaign for the freedom of Americans to own absolutely any weapons they choose. I guess he figures distracting the issue from all the real problems in New Orleans and using it so that people will be free to tote AK's is the moral high ground.

Finally, if I had to throw in a second word to sum the speech up, it would be hypocrisy. In the beginning of his speech, he made reference to a comment by Mayor Bloomberg of New York, in which the Mayor talked about taking the gun battle to different cities and states. Mr. LaPierre then said: "Mayor Bloomberg, he seems to know what's best for everybody." Did it ever occur to him that perhaps the NRA doesn't know what best for everybody? Maybe he just missed the memo.

But I suppose that since he really wasn't trying to convince anyone of anything, he figured that kind of wonton arrogance and hypocrisy would be welcomed here--either that or he was just taking notes from Coulter's speech.

More to come…
After a few beers and a bath in rubbing alcohol (to thoroughly cleanse myself of the Coulter speech) I made up on some lost sleep and got up, ready to tackle my last day at the CPAC. And what a long strange trip it's been. The first thing I need to report to you guys is a theory that I've been playing with over the last few days, and something that I saw quite a bit in the first discussion I attended today. I've talked about this before, but:

A large number of speakers at this conference tie their ties so that their knots lean to the right. Coincidence? I think not.


I haven't been able to get deep enough into the organization to know if this is a principle method of indoctrination yet, and I don't know if I will. But rest assured, reader, that I'll do everything in my power to get to the bottom of this.

I checked out a panel entitled "Opportunities for tax reform," which featured some pretty entertaining speakers, despite the fact that I don't necessarily agree with the things they said. I enjoyed it--especially Grover Norquist, who gave me what is quite possibly my favorite quote of the CPAC. In a speech where he talked about the necessity of a single rate tax, Grover (I waive formality because his first name is Grover) he used an example about stock tax, and discussed how nearly 60% of people today have stock tied into their retirement. When a legislator told "the people in the room" (a metaphor for the US populace) that he was going to tax the people with stocks, 60% say (I love this): "Excuse me, that's my retirement you're looting, I hate you forever." Well done.

The next speaker got up and made a lackluster speech in which he advocated for the removal of the death tax. In it, he equated the philosophy of the "other side" (not sure if he means liberals or Dems here, he was bashing both) to that of Marxism. He also cited the communist manifesto and said "I'm sure everyone here has read it." Perhaps I was just tired, but I didn't detect any sarcasm--so that was a bit WTF moment for me.

The next speaker was incredibly boring, so I left and hit the exhibit room for my first swag run of the day. It was pretty good too, because it's the last day and so the exhibitors are trying to dump all their stuff on people. It was kind of an interesting practice because for some exhibitors, I felt kind of bad to be faking enthusiasm when they talked about conservatism--because they were generally nice people. Others that weren't so nice, well, lets just say I hustled them a little more than usual.

That's all for now, an NRA rep is set to speak in about 5 minutes and you know that I'm not gonna miss that. Conventioneer out.

More to come…
Don't feel like reading the entire recap? Check out my CPAC 2006 Day Two Quick Facts:

I'm sad to say that I heard no Reagan quotes today, so I invoked my constitutional option and got rid of it.

Official Swagventory Day Two:
11 Buttons
10 Misc. pieces of info
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Kisses (Of the Hershey's variety, so to my girlfriend: if you're reading this, don't worry)
3 Balloons
3 Books
3 Mouse pads
2 Key chains
2 Magazines
1 Audio CD
1 Calendar
1 Flyer
1 Giant binder o' info
1 Pennant
1 Pink "How big is your government?" ruler
1 Tote bag

Oddest Piece of Swag: The "I Like Rice" button the Condi in '08 people were pushing. I might wear it (not because I support Condi in any way, shape, or form) but because I actually do like rice--Spanish, white, wild--rice of any kind. It's delicious.

Best Speaking Event: It's relative. For sheer entertainment value, the Drug War debate is the clear winner. Ann Coulter was also extremely entertaining, but in a depressing, eye-rolling kind of way.

Conservative Craziness Meter:
|--------------------|--|
0 10 11

11. I predicted a 30% chance of severe craziness yesterday, and wasn't disappointed. The crazies at the drug war debate, the abortion date, and Kooky Ann Coulter pushed this right up to 11.

Today was much more entertaining than yesterday, but my schedule was much more strained. There were several interesting speaking events today so I didn't have much time to walk around and mooch off of the booths set up in the exhibit room, but it was all good because I got to hear and bring to you all a lot more substantive stuff to read about. It's not all ostrich suits and ACLU devils, folks.

After the drug war debate, there was a panel on abortion, which I fully expected to be more incendiary than the out of control debate on drugs. But, being a conservative convention, everyone generally agreed. There were no panelists there to argue pro-choice, but rather three different panelists supporting abortion in different ways.

The first two panelists (Jan LaRue and Sen. John Barrasso) talked mostly about medical topics relating to abortion, while the third's (Ramesh Ponnuru) speech was basically yet another indictment of the "mainstream media" (read: Liberal media). Though I support pro-choice, the arguments made by the panelists were calm and rational.

The only moment that made me furrow my brow was during the Q and A session when one attendant asked about cases of rape and how the panel thought abortion policy should be defined when rape occurred. Mrs. LaRue responded "My belief is you don't solve an act of violence with another act of violence." Which I guess makes sense, unless you're talking about a war, right conservatives?

Later, after Ann Coulter, Sen. Majority Leader Bill Frist spoke to close out the conference for the day. I want to touch on some important things he talked about: First, he talked about Roberts and Alito, which wasn't surprising. The odd thing is that he then up-talked how important the Republican contribution was to a conservative judiciary. I thought Republicans were selecting Alito based on his credentials?

Frist also commented that "Democrats oppose judicial nominees who don't have a liberal activist agenda." Which is so untrue it's laughable--in fact, Democrats oppose judicial nominees who are not ubër-conservative--which is exactly what they should do.

Frist went on to flaunt and advertise the fact that he would be bringing a Marriage protection amendment to the senate on June 5th, telling conservative attendees to "mark their calendars." Anyone who opposes such an amendment, take note: things will soon be heating up.

I wrote up a separate piece on the Coulter event, because it was too much for a passing sentence or two. Be sure to check it out, as well as Conventionette's post on today's events. Also, I'm batting around the idea of transcribing the Coulter speech and putting it up, because it was in all honesty pretty bad--it all depends on the quality of the tape and the popular support for it. Lastly, I just want to say that I hope you're all enjoying reading these posts as much as I am being here and writing them.

More to come…
Wow. Conventionette and I just had the pleasure of hearing Ann Coulter speak--and I'm still in shock. I want to preface this post by saying that every person who was at the speech today and applauded at some of the things she had to say (especially all of the comments about the Muslim religion) - you should be ashamed of yourselves. I was taken aback at the amount of applause Ms. Coulter received when she referred to Muslims as "rag heads." It is disappointing to see that such divisive and incendiary comments were welcomed with such gusto from the crowd.

Her speech today jacked up the crazy conservative meter straight to ten; it was without a doubt the most highly attended speaking event that Conventionette and I have seen thus far at the event, any everyone was in a fervor to see the spokeswoman of (to use a phrase of another conservative) "bass-ackward" conservatism. The two guys sitting next to us were die-hard Coulter fans, so we pandered to their misguided love and got them to talk to us a little about Ann. One thing that I still have trouble grasping is why so many people think Coulter is so attractive (as these two clearly did), because she's super bony and I swear today when she was speaking I saw an Adam's apple. But this is beside the point.

Aside from a more aggressive stance on enforcing love for America across the world through the use of war, Coulter went through the typical conservative channels, as I'm sure she knew this would get the best response from the crowd--she sure does love those applause--attacking (among others) Hilary Clinton, the "mainstream media," and the Middle East. Her speech about going to war with Syria was pretty popular with the crowd, as well. Moving on to less weighty issues, she mentioned that she was glad conservatives had all the pretty girls--a comment which Conventionette was especially happy about. But then again I'm sure Coulter didn't expect any progressives in the crowd.

Most infuriating were Coulter's comments about the Muslim faith. I daresay she spent the longest part of her speech just demonizing Muslims, focusing on the recent events with the comics of Mohammed in Denmark. Amidst laughter and applause, Coulter made several jokes about the violent nature of the Muslim faith and its followers. I myself am not Muslim, but I was still insulted by how well received these comments were. The youths around us were eating it up, jabbering about how great she and her comments were.

The low point for me was during the Q and A session when a young man from Muslims for America came up and very respectfully requested that she not use the term "rag heads." He argued for the peaceful way in which many Muslims live their lives, and really just didn't want her to use such a hateful term to describe a religion whose majority is not violent or malevolent. I was moved, and I applauded as loud as I could for the guy.

But I'm not exaggerating when I say that Coulter's response put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day; she basically told him "Well, I make a couple jokes about Muslims, and they kill 3000 Americans--fair trade." It was, in short, appalling. Reader, if ever you find yourself wondering "why do these fundamentalist Muslims hate us so much?" You can be sure that hateful opinions such as this and hateful people such as Coulter are a cause.

I made sure to head down to the Muslims for America booth after the speech was over to shake the kid's hand and let him know not all Americans think that way (not the ones trying to sell books, anyway). He handled everything with great poise--even telling Ann "thank you" after her disrespectful response to his request. Afterward, we talked for a bit--he was a pretty cool dude.

Anyway, back to Angry Annie--Conventionette and I brought a tape recorder with us to the conference, and we recorded both Coulter's speech and the Q and A session. Check back on the site later for Conventionette's post on Coulter, as she has the tape recorder and will be providing some quotes from the event that are nothing short of shocking.

In closing, I just want to say that Coulters speech and the response of the attendees both depressed and angered me. I didn't really care for her before, but now I can say without hesitation that I think she is an abhorrent human being. Not because she is a conservative, so right-wingers that may be reading this, don't get your undies in a bunch--rather I say this because Coulter is a person who resorts to incendiary, malicious comments and attacks in order to pander her image to the crowd.

While I'm sure that this will help her sell more copies of her next book, it does absolutely nothing positive for a country she supposedly claims to love.
I asked for it, and I got it. I've been telling Conventionette all weekend that I'm disappointed in the lack of conservative crazies coming out to support this convention--which is true. But that all changed just about an hour ago when Conventionette and I heard Ann Coulter speak. Interested? You should be--but you're going to have to wait. Ms. Coulter's speech deserves its own post, and nothing less. So keep checking in to the Campus Progress website because we'll have (a lot) more on that later.

For now, there are several other events that went on throughout the day that were pretty entertaining, so read on, because though they can't compare to Ann, they were pretty crazy.

Just before lunch, I had the pleasure of listening to Sen. Mitch McConnell speak, entering the main hall amidst cries of "Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch," and applause. The beginning of his speech was pretty standard--Roberts and Alito are good, legislating from the bench is bad, etc. He even poked fun at the opposing party, stating (with a hint of a gleam in his eye) that it was "Fun to watch the Dems agonize" over Roberts and Alito. He then began an argument which Conventionette and I have been hearing about the unchecked misrepresentation and misinformation coming out of the "mainstream media." He even stated that the mainstream media is mislabeling the economy as bad, when in reality, "Americans have more money in their pockets." Tell that to the people of New Orleans.

He talked a little bit about the reserved political strategy of the GOP, using Basketball as a metaphor to make the comment that "It is easier to score on offense." That may be true, but any good basketball coach will tell you (my father is one) that it is a team effort and strong defense that wins games.

The final thing I wanted to address about his speech is that he made the comment that proof that America is safer is evident in the fact that we have not been attacked again since 9/11--which is nothing more than a horrible argument. Any statistician or economist would be able to tell Sen. McConnell that there is a huge difference between Causation and Correlation. Just because two events are correlated does not necessarily mean that one caused the other. Please, any time you hear anyone make this argument, tell them "Correlation does not imply causation."

The next big panel was covered in a post by Conventionette, and that was the Marriage amendment panel. All I want to say about that is I find it interesting that wherever moral issues are concerned, the right wants the government to step in and "do the right thing." However, when it is economic issues that are up for discussion, their motto is "smaller government." It always has been and still is thoroughly confusing to me.

The next act was probably the most entertaining--a mini-debate over the war on drugs. The gentleman making the "con" argument for the war on drugs (read: it is bad) attacked the war's place in the conservative ideology, stating that it was contrary to the conservative principle of smaller government. He also said it was costly and ineffective. Personally, I thought he made a really good point and the debate rocked because the crowd got really really into it. The "pro" debater basically argued that communities lack a moral structure and the government's intervention is required to protect people from themselves.

From there it evolved into an argument about personal responsibility and personal judgment vs. the slippery slope argument that marijuana (almost inevitably, according to the "pro war on drugs" side) leads to other, more dangerous drugs, and that people that smoke marijuana become lazy and end up sleeping all day.

It really deserves its own post as well, I might elaborate on it later because everyone got so fired up and everything--basically, it was just a lot of fun to be there.

Yea, so I know this is pretty long, but there's been a lot of conservative craziness today, and even more to go, so stay tuned! Same bat channel, same bat time.

More to come…
Mildly rested and restored, I headed back into the maw of the beast, eager to discover what today's events would present to me. I spent the majority of the morning listening to speakers (broken up a bit by a trip around the convention looking for promising photo ops, of which I found a few). The first panel I sat in on was actually pretty interesting, because the panelists spent the majority of their time talking about what the right has to do (and subsequently prevent the left from doing) in order to gain a noticed advantage in future elections--most notably the upcoming midterm elections.

I almost felt as if I was a fly on the wall during the team strategizing of the Super Bowl or Stanley Cup, essentially being told how to get a leg up on the right--I definitely took an out of control amount of notes on that one. For all you Dems out there, I'll say this: Get organized, make yourselves heard, and begin pushing in all areas, major cities and otherwise. To paraphrase panelist John Gizzi, "Districts people never looked at are quickly becoming more important in elections, because voter turnout is key and these districts, with proper campaigning, can be strong allies." The word is turnout. Go.

Also, call me crazy, but I'm still convinced of my "tie knot leaning to the right" subliminal conspiracy theory--ok, maybe I'm not totally convinced, but it is a weird pattern. Anyway, something that several of the panelists were continuously bringing up was the nominations of John Roberts and Sam Alito to the Supreme Court. I don't think it's an exaggeration when I say that I struggled to join in on the overwhelming applause that took place each time this was mentioned. The panel also contained quite a bit of Daschle bashing, which (although I thought most of it was pretty inane and strictly in the interest of getting a laugh) was a nice change from the target practice focused on Sen. Hillary Clinton I experienced yesterday.

The overwhelming opinion I got from this panel was, however, that conservatives seem worried. If the left is waiting to strike when iron is hot, now is the time.

After the panel ended, I got my first meeting with Jessie Jane Duff who was SUPER PUMPED to be talking to the crowd about getting Condoleezza Rice nominated and elected as president in '08--which will happen, coincidentally, right after the USDA releases their new "flying pig" technology. It'll be a crazy year. When Mrs. Duff (who, did I mention, was SUPER PUMPED?) Was finished, I ducked out to head for the exhibit hall and get some pictures. On my way there, I heard an older gentleman say something I thought would be worth sharing: "Anyone who was connected with Clinton is just as responsible for 9/11 as Clinton was." Seriously folks, you can't make this stuff up.

I took the opportunity during the panel on intellectual property rights (and how other countries are scamming their way to strong economies) and headed back down to the exhibit hall for pictures. Ostrich lady, you're famous!

The rest of the afternoon should be pretty exciting--more to come…
Don't feel like reading the entire recap? Check out my CPAC 2006 Quick Facts:

Final Ronald Reagan Quotometer: 12

Official Day One "Swagventory"
30 Leaflets
17 Booklets
16 "Count Me Red" Bracelets
15 Bumper Stickers
12 Pamphlets
10 Misc. pieces of info
9 Buttons
9 Magazines
4 Business cards
3 Key chain bottle openers
3 Tote bags
2 Calendars
2 Cups (plastic)
2 "Don't tread on me" flags
2 Faux-newspapers
2 Foam pigs
2 Frisbees
2 Magnets
1 Bookmark
1 Pen
1 Potato chip bag clip
1 Report (Global Climate Change)
1 Shirt - "Don't get screwed"
1 Tin of mints

Oddest piece of swag: Probably the Red "Livestrong"-style bracelets that College Republicans were giving out. Not because they mimic the "Livestrong" bracelets, but because the motto on them is "Count me Red." I guess they missed the communist undertones.

Number of contact sheets filled out: 6
Number of times anti-spam alias used: 6

Conservative Craziness Meter
|------|--------------|
0 10
Mildly Crazy (Santorum and the Voter Fraud Panel) with a 30% chance of severe craziness.

Day one is on the books. All in all, it was a pretty crazy day--I saw a lot of things I expected, and some that I didn't. I didn't get as many pictures or talk directly to as many students as I would have liked to, but there's always tomorrow and Saturday. After Sen. Santorum finished speaking, I sat in on a panel on stealing elections and voter fraud, which basically was a session where all the panelists were in agreement that liberals are dishonest people who rig elections in their favor, and conservatives are losing elections because of it ( I suppose they all missed the 2000 election). They went on to say that we need stricter voting regulations so that the liberal organizations (such as ACORN…yes, ACORN) cannot continue to win elections by cheating. After half an hour of rehashing the same argument, I pretty much zoned out and began scanning the room.

I was pretty disappointed by the lack of seersucker suits--I don't think I saw one all day. I was pretty disappointed, because I was hoping to get a lot of good photos today. Unfortunately, besides ACLU Satan, Ostrich woman, and Weiner Girl, everyone was dressed pretty normally. I'm really hoping that in the days to come that will change.

Anyway, as the voter fraud panel rehashed the same argument for what I believe was the fourth time, the attendance in the room began to border on "Ghost Town." Had I not been watching Conventionette's stuff while she was at a different panel, I'm sure I would have been long gone as well. But, unfortunately, I had to listen to the whole thing. After that panel closed, people began to file in to hear Dick Armey (insert your favorite name joke here) speak. I ducked out to hit the exhibit hall for some more stuff and to check out the scene. I was really hoping on seeing some good costumes or crazy propaganda, but all I got was a couple nerds by the blogger's corner arguing about the merits of Babylon 5 versus the merits of Star Trek--it was pretty craptastic, so I bailed and met back up with Conventionette for the Secretary of Labor's speech.

The SoL's speech was BORING. She threw out a bunch of numbers and talked about how the Dept. of Labor is the best it's ever been--I tried to pay attention, but when she started to drone on about the reports they're using, I was pretty much done. She was the last speaker of the day, so Conventionette and I decided to make one more round at free stuff. We did pretty well too--mostly candy and propaganda, some of which we had to sign up for an email list to receive. Luckily, I hate spam and love aliases, so I'll let you figure out whether I'll be getting emails from these groups or not. Anyway, we made out like bandits.

At the end of the day, the only thing that still baffled me were the conservatives (speakers or otherwise) who spoke out in support of the President's illegal wiretapping program. For an ideology that is rooted in the idea of protecting liberty by decreasing the size of government, the support of such a vast intrusion into the liberty of American Citizens seems to be completely contradictory.

Nonetheless, it was still a pretty good time, kickin it with the conservatives in their natural habitat. With speakers such as Ann Coulter and Bill Frist, I don't think I need to mention that tomorrow looks very, very promising.

More to come…
First and foremost: free stuff rules.

Now, call me a conspiracy theorist, but I swear that every speaker we've seen so far has the knot of his tie tilted slightly to the right. Subliminal message, anyone? So far things are going pretty good, but still a little sparse on the crazy that I was hoping to see. So far, the best run in Conventionette and I have had was with the ACLU devil, proclaiming that he was "happy that the ACLU wanted to remove God from the government" *cough* separation of church and state *cough* and told us to remember, "God is the enemy." Naturally, I had Conventionette take my picture with him.

Afterward, Conventionette and I wandered around the exhibit hall, doing our best to feign interest while listening to representatives from organizations such as the NRA and Lockheed Martin. Why did we feign interest, you ask? For the swag, dude! And let me tell you, these supporters of private interest and free market did not disappoint--they hooked us up in the hopes that we sign up for their e-mail list. From "Liberals are stuck on stupid" to "Capitalist Pig," these folks knew how to really represent. But of course, I was just interested in the Frisbees and buttons, so I thanked them and was on my way.

We headed back to the main speakers room and struggled for seats--which was confusing because earlier they were all over the place. I checked my schedule and realized why--The Right Honorable Rick Santorum was set to speak. Not one to miss a bona fide sales pitch of crazy, I found a cozy spot on the floor and hunkered down. What followed was his heartwarming speech on the importance of family values and a story about the cold-heartedness of Sen. Hilary Clinton (who, coincidentally, was quite the high-profile target today), which the crowd loved. Finally, he made what was perhaps my favorite part of his speech. Sen. Santorum began talking about the importance of children being raised by "stable" families. A "stable" family, he argued, is one that included, among other things, the sanctity of marriage in the form of a union between a man and a woman. I was a little perplexed at this point because I didn't know that gay marriage had anything to do with the 50% divorce rate in this country.

Reagan Quotometer: 9
More to come…

-Conventioneer
From suits to sweats, conservatives are out in full force for this year's CPAC conference at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. I have to admit, I felt a bit nervous when I walked in the door. There are quite a few people here, mostly students, rocking everything from Che Guevara-esque Reagan shirts to shirts supporting Condi for president in '08. I wandered around a bit while I waited for Conventionette to arrive, and within 5 minutes I knew I was in for a wild ride. In the exhibit hall I was particularly interested by two girls, one of whom was sporting a hot dog outfit, and the other all blinged out in an ostrich suit. I took a minute or two to browse some of the booths, and felt like I was on some kind of supermarket game show as I walked through nabbing all the free stuff I could carry. My head already spinning and my arms full, I headed out to find the room where many of the speakers and panels would be featured.

After meandering a bit through the winding halls of the hotel, I found the ballroom where the speakers would be appearing. As luck would have it, Reagan was being quoted as I walked in to find a table, leading me to start an immediate (and very official, if I do say so myself), Ronald Reagan "Quotometer." As I write this, I've been here for roughly three hours and between the speakers and people in the halls, I've heard Reagan quoted five times. Anyway, after listening to the primary speaker for a couple minutes, I headed up to the main lobby to meet up with Conventionette. After we were all set up we headed back to the speakers room to take in some rockin' panel action--and it didn't disappoint.

We arrived to the impassioned words of Congressman Tom Tancredo, who was getting fairly riled up over immigration and the tendency of America to do things to appease the international community and not our best interests, quipping "And by the way--GOD BLESS DENMARK." Indeed.

Shortly after, a panel discussion began on immigration, with a very Hannity and Colmes-structured panel consisting of Rep. J.D. Hayworth (who's widow's peak puts Eddie Munster to shame) and Chris Simcox favoring the "keep 'em the hell out of America" argument (such as barriers and stronger enforcement) while the slightly more reserved Pedro Celis, Ph.D. and Angela Maria Kelley of the group Advocacy of Immigration (who, incidentally, wasn't even listed on any of the speaker lists) making up the "we need to find practical solutions to this problem" side. In a response to one of Mrs. Kelley's comments about immigrants already in America, Rep. Hayworth classily labeled her argument "bass-ackward." You got served, immigration!

After another panel where the speakers droned on for way too long about guest worker programs (so long in fact, that people started to leave en masse about halfway through) Conventionette and I decided to head to Chipotle, which was rife with visitors from the convention. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that there were probably a few people in the room who cheered at Rep. Hayworth's comments about restricting immigration, and then happily marched over to a restaurant whose employees were predominantly Hispanic.

That's all for now, but as I'm finishing this the RR Quotometer officially hit 7--this guy gets quoted like gangbusters! Out of control. More to come…
EXEUNT CONVENTIONEER

It's been tough, it's been fun, and it's been time consuming.

Like Dante, I have journeyed through nine circles, and I have survived alive. I'd quote the last few lines of the Inferno, but I don't have a copy with me. Sorry.

There are so many important lessons to be learned from my experiences this weekend, but it will take some time to digest that information. For now, though, I bid you all adieu.
SWAG METER: By the Numbers!

Fun fact: Besides referring to free stuff given out at places like conventions, Swag is also a snowboarding outerwear company that may or may not still exist (Google is ambivalent.) Dontcha know?

Glimpses of the swag I garnered at this wonderful CRNC.

22 = the number of YAF brochures I came home with.

17 = the number of “Annoy a Liberal” stickers I took.

12 = the number of Horowitz-produced "Noam Chomsky's Jihad Against America" pamphlets I grabbed.

9 = the number of small, red Students for Academic Freedom booklets I picked up. Did anyone else catch that?

8 = the number of Davidson t-shirts I got. Only L and XL, unfortunately. The upside is that they should be hot items on Ebay now that Gourley won. Collector's items, baby!

4 = the number of Accuracy in Academia folders I grabbed.

3 = the number of issue briefings I picked up from the US English Foundation, Inc. "English in America: A Study of Linguistic Integration" “Many Languages, One America” These “briefings” spend a lot of energy talking about how Hispanic immigrants have expended less energy than any other immigrant group to learn English.

2 = the number of CRNC packets. Inside? Among other more mundane convention fare, The Ripon Forum is contained, which spends most of its pages attacking - you guessed it - Democrats. Is that mag title a joke?

2 = the number of Reagan posters I picked up.

1 = the number of Bush posters I picked up.

Such is the mind-food fed to these young conservatives. Office give-aways, anyone?

Apparently there's a Social Security rally going on right now. This morning was a Prayer Breakfast. I slept till one. What you got?
NIGHT ON THE TOWN (Part 4 - Aftermath)

Conventionette and I headed for the 14th floor of the Marriot, but the specified room was pretty quiet from the outside. Very disappointing. And yet, it WAS about 2:30 by that time, and trust me, we haven't been sleeping much lately. So I guess we weren't all that disappointed. At least I wasn't.

As we were headed out, we saw Mihai walking towards us to the Metro station. Conventionette pulled me aside into a storefront to hide. Mihai was doing the classic wall-lean walk, by this time apparently quite intoxicated.

As I began the long journey back to my apt, I made sure to leave some space between me and Mihai. Not because I didn't like him, it's just that I'd had my fill of conservative-talk for the night. As I was going through the turnstiles, he was getting a new farecard (Is that what they call them here?), and a train was pulling in, so I thought I was clear. Not so lucky. Mihai bounded down the escalator, careened around the corner and just made it into my car. By then, I had positioned myself at the other end of the car, making sure to face in the opposite direction. I wanted to be alone with my Cody Chestnutt, okay? That dude rules.

Mihai didn't notice me. We both got out at Metro Center, but thankfully we were heading in opposite directions. I spied him sitting on top of the almost-horizontal tilted map that sits on the platform at Metro Center. He kept trying to lie down on it, but evidently he couldn't get comfortable, most likely because of the tile, I'm guessing. Poor guy. Dude was pretty wasted. Hopefully he's all right.

Which brings me back to my apartment. Apparently, a 3 hour evening nap allows you to at least function rather late. I should probably head to sleep. It's been another long day, with its fair share of hang-your-head-and-cry moments and its fair share of these-guys-are-laughable moments. One Hundred Years of Solitude, here I come. (Seriously, I plan to sleep for one hundred years starting now.) I wonder what Francisco thinks of Marquez.
NIGHT ON THE TOWN (Part 3 - conversations)

I had some good conversations tonight. To reiterate something I've tried to emphasize throughout this entire experience, these College Republicans are incredibly friendly people who are always willing to have a conversation. It may be hard to believe, but they can be incredibly nice people!

Highlights.

- Rupert. This guy's got long hair and a beard, and he's from Cali. Does that sound right to you? No? Me either. If I were Chairman Hoplin, I would have cast that tree-hugger out right away. He gave Conventionette a rose. Awww. She asked him how he became a College Republican, and he said he's just always been raised with strong family values. I can't remember the name of his college - it was one I hadn't heard of before. (I'm just saying, that's all, I'm just saying.)

- Jon Burns. Truman (College?), Missouri. Jon was actually really interesting to talk to. He and I actually agree on a lot. He's a philosophy major, and he was tossed from the College Republicans on his campus. Really??? I said. He'd piqued my interest. Then he said yeah I'm a libertarian. They thought I was trying to take over the club. At that point I started to care less about what he was saying, but still he had some really good stuff to say. He talked about being disgusted with most of the people at the convention, especially with the way the election was handled. He spoke about how these ambitious wanna-be's are only looking for instant gratification. It's ideas, he says, that last for centuries, not petty politicians. At that point I had to quote Fitzgerald's idea that (to paraphrase) "smart authors write for the youth of their own generation, the critics of the older generation, and the professors of subsequent generations." He agreed. Then he even criticized Bush for a while. At one point he spoke about how important it is to follow an idea for as long as possible, to really stick with it and try to drive it home, because only by putting it out there for so long can you find out whether or not it truly makes sense. Look at Communism, he said. 100 million dead, but at least we know it doesn't work. (I wasn't sure what to think, but I liked his point. Human history, he says, is a story of trial and error.) I started to wonder why he was at the CRNC, and he said it's because he's got classic conservative values, not the fake conservatism of the Republican party. He wanted to see what's up with all these folks. Finally he talked about a thinker named Hayek who had strongly influence Reagan and Thatcher. He was a big Hayek fan. I began to understand why he was there. He was, however, wearing a United Nations t-shirt that was NOT making fun of it. He told me to email him so we can discuss these things more. I just might.

- Mihai. U Chicago. Econ/Poli Sci major. It's Romanian for Michael, he explained. Mihai's definitely a good guy, though a little more mainstream Republican (which is to say, right-wing) than the rest of my conversationalists. He was hitting on Conventionette pretty hard, but I'll let her talk about that if she'd like. The best part of the U Chicago Econ Dept, says he, is that it is "a bastion of political uncorrectness." Direct quote. Uncorrectness.

- Francisco. From the Intercollegiate Studies Institute. ISI people scare me, but man Francisco must be their best diplomat. Despite striking me as a pretty smooth talker, he really impressed me. He was totally friendly, and spoke to Conventionette and I for quite a long time. Cuban history, Latin American literature, the classic liberal arts, you name it. He gave me his card and said we should chat. He talked about how William F. Buckley founded the institution in '53, but the man was really more of a figurehead than anything else. Francisco likes the organization because he sees it as less partisan than other groups like YAF and the Leadership Institute. ISI, he says, is more academic/intellectual. Man we talked for a while, especially about Cuba, since he heard I'm thinking of majoring in history. Jose Martine is his hero (I don't know how to spell that.) Francisco seemed to know a lot of the big players in the CRNC, and he talked about how Paul Gourley is a really good guy, with a good head on his shoulders. Francisco was one of the few people there not ridiculously wasted, and he really just seemed to enjoy hanging out and talking. Though ISI is one of the top 3 leading sources for the college conservative movement, it was hard not to like the guy. Weird. All I can say is cheers, Francisco. Keep it real.

Around 2, Conventionette and I agreed it was about time to head out. The place had definitely thinned out by that time. We left to go check out an afterparty we had heard about on the 14th floor of the hotel.
NIGHT ON THE TOWN (Part 2 - the scene)

Stars and Stripes was rockin' out. Conventionette regaled me with what I had missed earlier in the night, such as the election of the Wet Caucus Chair. This election, apparently, is decided not by the comparatively mundane "voting" method, but instead by the lesser-known but infinitely better "chugging" method, according to which the victor is chosen by who can consume one beer the fastest.

Observations.

- Busch Light: $1. By the time I arrived, they were all gone.

- Only one cowboy hat. Disappointing. Not disappointing was that the guy wearing it was basically a giant, and his shirt was most likely won from a spaghetti western auction. Steak milkshake, anyone?

- Is that a wall-length American flag? Why yes it is. Lest these folks be accused of being unpatriotic - or worse, liberal - one entire wall was dedicated to Old Glory. Where better to display our country's nat'l symbol of pride than in a super lame bar? Amendment to the flag-burning amendment: no flags in bars, either - it's desecration, right? Apparently bars are more sacred than protests to this crowd.

- At one point the now-former Vice Chair got on a (lower case) chair to make a speech, but it was impossible to bring the rowdiness of the place under control. Gourley got on the chair for a brief second, but it was just too loud. Someone with a Rumsfeld t-shirt also mounted the chair, but it was too difficult to be heard. People were still complaining about the Wet Caucus election, too.

- Paul Gourley's running mate, something Bleeson, I think, was wandering around pretty trashed. Her pearls were still in great shape, though, despite the fact that she couldn't quite walk right. Conventionette said she spied her with a cigar earlier. What's with conservatives and cigars?

- Speaking of cigars, several College Republicans in attendance were smoking cigars. Don't they know they're walking into one of my personal favorite stereotypes?

- Fox News was on every TV in the place. No surprise there. I was talking to one blazered person from Vancouver, Canada (?!). He cited the recent appearance of Fox News in Canada as evidence that Canada is moving in the right direction. And I swear he had a southern accent. WTF?

Which brings me to the conversations I had.
NIGHT ON THE TOWN (Part 1 - intro)

You know those times when you just wish you had a recorder taped beneath your shirt? Well tonight was one of those nights.

After returning to my apartment at the conclusion of Day 2, I was absolutely exhausted. So I slept for 3 hours. Then I got up, ate some Uncle Ben's rice (don't believe the recipe, man, the butter's not necessary when you microwave it), and then it was right back to Arlington. How could I miss the self-described "Night on the Town?" Plus, the chosen place for the festivities was called Stars and Stripes. Wouldn't it be unpatriotic to stay home?

As I was walking from the Crystal Gate metro stop, I wasn't sure I was walking in the right direction until a group of three polo-shirted college kids stumbled past me, yelling with a distinct accent "Simma down now!" I couldn't help but realize Arlington had been invaded by country clubs.

I approached what I thought was the bar, and I saw a group of police officers inside. Rowdy Republicans? Kick-backs for the force? Then I realized it was the wrong bar. I should have known when I saw soccer on one of the bigscreens. Conservatives aren't down with that international stuff.

Finally I arrived at Stars and Stripes, right about at 11:30 I'd say. Paul Gourley, chairman-elect was outside, looking quite sober. I met up with Conventionette, and together we entered the Lion's Den, or the lion's bar, whatever. I was worried I had gotten there too late, but I was wrong.
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