A quick note on the debates: it's interesting that it was quite obvious that Edwards and Kucinich (by far they got the most applause and cheers, best debate for both) won the debate and that Hillary and Biden were viewed with scorn. Yet the post-debate wrap-up (you know, the hideous horse-race journalism which analyzes "how they all did" as if the fate of the country is less important than these individuals' political futures) was all "Clobama" -- Clinton and Obama. One guy, the former mayor of San Francisco, even said that Biden did well -- when he was booed several times by the Big Labor crowd. You have to wonder what world these elites live in.

Democratic AFL-CIO Debate: Democrats In Labor

(I turn on television)

(Chris Matthews and Tucker Carlson [who no longer wears a bowtie after Jon Stewart made fun of him for it] debating on free trade and manufacturing)

(I resist extreme urge to turn off the television and eat cheesecake and day-dream about Swiss college girls)

(Did Chris Matthews just compare Hillary Clinton to a “Holocaust denier”? Heeee-okay…)

Keith Olbermann: Ok, I’m probably the least full of shit newscaster to run a debate in decades, so let’s cross our fingers and hope this doesn’t suck -- even though most of the candidates do!

Keith Olbermann: Hold your applause until the end, idiots.

(crowd applauses wildly for each candidate randomly anyway as they are introduced, with Richardson not getting any -- I guess that’s what you get for supporting free trade…)

John Sweeny, AFL-CIO President: My super-union has fallen apart in recent years, but I hope you guys can help us start to resemble 1% of the competency of say a French union…

(crowd intermittently interrupts bland statements of President so old he’s going to croak faster than a Cheney with unenthusiastic applause)

Keith O: I will ask questions of the candidates and then the audience will ask the candidates questions. I will NOT have discretion. I hate discretion. We are going to have LIGHTS which tell you when your time is up. That means you, Hillary-bitch.

(tells actually funny jokes, provoking actual enthusiasm from crowd)

Keith O: Lottery determined that Doddy will get questions even though no one likes him.

Keith O: Isn’t the bridge collapse your fault?

Doddy: I’m a UNION MAN (though never actually part of a union)! I am worried about mine workers in Utah and I hate the war in Iraq I voted for and voted to fund repeatedly. I maybe want to cut some of the military programs. Oh shit, now I’m never going to be President.

(anonymous phone call at Boeing Headquarters):

Evil capitalist guy 1: Should we assassinate him?

Evil capitalist guy 2: No, he’s not going to win. I think we might elect Karl Marx’s re-animated body before him…

Evil capitalist guy: True. Call off the strikes

(end of phone call)

Keith O: Hillary, are we safer thanks to the government and its regulation and shouldn’t we be doing more to bridge disasters and all that?

Hillary: I like infrastructure. I hit on a bridge attendant once (flashed it a few times), but he went for Bill instead. Bastard. (doesn’t actually give any specific policy proposals, instead does random pandering in every direction)

Keith O: Yo Black Guy, what are we not prepared for?

Obama: I like the Bears and Chicago. Home Field, Suckas!

(crowd applauds)

Obama: (pronounces Pakistan right but butchers Afghanistan, leading me to think he is pronouncing Pakistan right to win back all those Muslim votes he lost by being a dumbass and talking about bombing Pakistan…) I hate Bush. I hate Bin Laden. Don’t you love me?

Keith O: Biden did you drop the ball on infrastructure? I think the bridge collapse is your fault. YOUR FAULT. GO CRY JOE BIDEN.

Biden: I’ve thrown lots of money at various problems throughout my life. Vote for me. I hate Bush. I hate Rudy Giuliani (starts to yell real loudly) REPUBLICANS ARE IRRESPONSIBLE. GUYS LIKE ME WHO HAVE ENABLED THEM FOR 8 YEARS ARE BLAMELESS!

Keith O: Pretty-boy?

Edwards: I love organized labor, and according to all the polls it loves me. (lots of pandering to leftish rhetoric). We should stop taking Washingon-insider lobbyist money (though a few days ago I told Dennis Kucinich I will continue to take Wall Street hedge-fund money)! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

Keith O: Leprechaun, do you think government should subsidize sports teams and stadiums and stuff?

Kucinich: Why don’t we just buy the sports teams? I mean you ask me a random question, I’ll give you a random answer. By the way, I fucking hate NAFTA and the WTO.

(huge-ass applause)

Keith O: Stop applauding, damnit, I can’t get through questions ;_;

Keith O: (discretionary question to Obama about random Illionis policy)

Obama: (labor pandering)

Keith O: Yo Richardson why don’t we sell the toll roads to private companies?

Richardson: Privatization is not the answer

(applause; telling labor unions that is like telling kittens it’s tuna-time)

Richardson: Well, when I was Governor of New Mexico, New Mexico, Nuevo Me-hico…me gusta taco.

Keith O: Sennie Clinton your husband put NAFTA in. Fuck him, right?

Clinton: Er, um. I believe in “smart trade,” whatever the hell that means.

(handful of people applause…)

Keith O: Ok, everyone, should you scrap NAFTA or fix it, from left to right!

Richardson: (triangulation that leans towards fixing it doesn’t at all answer the question)

Obama: Amend NAFTA. Because you can certainly fix something that sucks by small tweaks. I HATE Bush.

Biden: Obama talks too much.

(audience: oooh)

Biden: NAFTA should be fixed and it’s all Canada and Mexico’s fault.

Dodd: Modification. (gets points for using the most mundane word to describe what he’d do)

Edwards: Needs to be fixed. This deal was negotiated by Washington Insiders. (what he doesn’t mention is that the DLC think tanks he helped found were the Insiders…) Takes a HUGE swipe at Clinton about her being on the cover of Fortune.

Kucinich: I will scrap the fuck out of NAFTA. I will tell the WTO that I am leaving them on the bed naked with a phone number. Do you want out of NAFTA and the WTO? Cheer loudly please.

(Incredibly huge applause, biggest one of the evening)

Clinton: What the fuck is Edwards problem? Why did that cunt mention that Big Business called me their favorite candidate on the cover of Fortune Magazine? I hate corporate America. Promise. ;_;

(idiots in crowd applaud)

Keith O: Senator Obama how can people buy American? It’s expensive. And certainly that matters more than your country.

Obama: (weird triangulation; seems like that’s the Clinton-Obama consensus)

Keith O: The Olympics start one year from today! (random…)

Keith O: Is China ally or adversary, guys?

Richardson: “Strategic competitor” (gets the big-word award)

Keith O: Shut up.

Richardson: Wha-?

Keith O: Have to get through everyone, Pablo..

Obama: We have to “take them to the mat.” (wtf..)

Biden: Neither. But they “hold the mortgage on our house.” I hate Bush! (leftish rhetoric that has nothing to do with China).

Clinton: Amen to Joe Biden! (she literally says that, and she praises him every debate. Sex partner or VP slot?) China gives us bad food. Let’s be tougher on China!

(idiots in crowd applaud though she doesn’t give one specific…)

Dodd: (another weird dull answer)

Edwards: What about millions of Chinese toys that have been recalled?! Are the Chinks trying to kill us? I think they are ;_;

Kucinich: My friends on the stage voted to give China most-favored nation status. We dug a hole to China. I’m a working-person President.

(another huge-ass applause; labor fucking loves him…)

(Dinner break for me during commercial : Pakistani food ^_^ )

Keith O: Yo Richie, what about Iraq? This Iowa voter guy asks: Won’t Al Qaeda take over because that makes sense, right?

Richardson: No. Dumbass.

Obama: We shouldn’t even be in Iraq ever you know. But we need to get out, you know?

Biden: (swipes at Obama on Iraq, suggests dividing up Iraq and calls the rest liars -- the guy’s kind of a creep…)

Clinton: Taking troops out is dangerous. We have to be “smart” about it. The Iraqi government are fuckers. Bitches like me that voted to invade them are blameless.

Dodd: I love the troops!

(crowd applauds non-controversial opinion)

Dodd: I hate Bush AND Saudi Arabia!

Edwards: (clintonesque triangulation without actual policy proposals)

Kucinich: Get the fuck out of Iraq. (doesn’t answer the question)

(crowd applauds)

Keith O: Yo Blackie why did you wait so long before deciding to vote against war funding without a timetable?

Obama: Because it’s a really hard decision to make. Poor me. I’m worse off than soldiers in Baghdad, promise ;_; We need to change Republican minds or we won’t get out of Iraq. Because Democrats having a spine is bullshit. We really suck ~_^

Keith: Woman?

Clinton: (craziest triangulating and pandering ever) George Bush started and executed this war! I am completely blameless! And we have to bring the troops home! I don’t know why it took 5 years for me to say this, but what the hell? This is America no one ever remembers!

Keith: Doddie don’t you think Obama is dumb?

Dodd: Look I have experience. I swear I’m so old I’ll probably croak any day now. Obama shouldn’t go after Musharaff because that guy’s a nice dictator of Zaid’s country of Pakistan.

Obama: They wanted to invade Iraq. Fuckers. I’m better than them. Iraqis shouldn’t get invaded but Pakistanis suck.

(crowd applauds wildly)

Clinton: Obama sucks. Only Islamic extremists hate Musharaff. Like Zaid. Practically Al Qaeda. Bastard doesn’t even like football.

(crowd boos for some reason)

Dodd: Obama is fucking stupid!

Obama: “The biggest threat to American security right now is in Northwest Pakistan.”

(me interjecting: what the fuck is he smoking? He knows better than that…Trying to prove you have a big dick, Obama? We already know you’re black…)

Keith O: OK, Audience time!

Keith O: Ok miner widow

Miner widow: My husband was killed in a mine crash. Why don’t you fucking losers spend any money on infrastructure and workers’ rights ever?

Biden: I lost a spouse too. Look, I want to invade Iran and Pakistan maybe! The rest of them are liars.

(crowd boos him for going off-topic for warmongering)

Hospital worker: I want to join a union but my employer doesn’t let me ;_;

(crowd applauds her)

Kucinich: I am actually a member of the AFL-CIO, unlike these losers. You’ll get all the rights under me.

War vet: When I came home from the war my factory job went to Mexico. What will you do to keep jobs in the country?

Richardson: I was in your town a bit ago doing my campaign pandering in Iowa. But I won’t talk about repealing NAFTA or getting out of the WTO, things that would’ve actually protected your job. I will give you a hero’s health card so you can get healthcare in any hospital (actual good proposal).

Keith O (question from afar): Why did my daughter have to buy her own uniform and has to spend so much time in Iraq?

Dodd: I actually served in National Guard and Reserve; these losers are weak. I love troops.

Steel worker (almost crying): I can’t afford to pay for my wife’s healthcare; I lost my pension. Everything sucks for me.

(crowd gives him huge applause, candidates give him huge applause -- maybe this guy should run for President?)

Edwards: CEOs’ pensions oughta be just like the rest. And universal healthcare. I fucking love unions.

(big applause)

Keith O: Ok I gotta cut ya off here -

Edwards: Let me finish, bucko.

(another applause from crowd)

Keith O: Sennie Clinton, what say you about pensions?

Clinton: (random pandering) I hate Bush so much!

(idiots in crowd applaud; OK maybe I shouldn’t call them idiots just for applauding at fluff, but hey I’ll do it anyway…)

Argentine guy: Will undocumented people in your administration get screwed over or not, blackie?

Obama: I love Argentines. I love immigrants. I love security. I love everyone. I hope everyone votes for me. (actually tells the argentine he wants his first vote) Everybody in this stadium knows how good I am.

Care nurse: Health system sucks.

Biden: I was seven months in the hospital one time. I put a hundred thousand new cops out (wtf?). I’d insure children first and then everyone else and I’ve walked on picket lines (every candidate has said that except Hillary because she wouldn’t know one if she ran into one and fell flat on her ass).

Keith O: Another internet question this one for Dennis. What about healthcare?

Kucinich: Universal single-payer not-for-profit HR 676 for all. Booyah.

(really big applause)

Keith O: Didn’t Bidey call you out Edwards?

Edwards: I was at a picket line on SATURDAY. I was on picket line on SUNDAY. I’m always on one. Hell, I’m on one right now they just wondern’ where I am right now ‘cause I kind of scooped out to come here and talk to ya’ll. By the way, I HATE SCABS.

(really huge applause from Organized Labor)

Keith O: But aren’t you from North Carolina which hates unions?

Edwards: Yeah, but, I’ll do better for America than I did for North Carolina, k? ~_^

(Biden tries to interject and gets major boos. I guess Labor doesn’t like the Bankrtupcty Bill author?)

Insulator: I hate the energy crisis

Dodd: Maybe we should give people Congress’ health care plan to the public. Because that worked real well when Kerry plugged it. I love the environment.

Keith O: Internet question, what about no child left behind.

Clinton: I love green industry; you can trust me as corporate america’s number 1 candidate. I’m legit. I also hate No Child Left Behind. I love education. LOOK WE NEED A TOTAL CHANGE! (doesn’t give an actual position on anything)

Keith: OK LIGHTING ROUND. All my questions!

Keith: What would your VP do?

Richardson: My VP would not be Dick Cheney!

(crowd applauds at obvious assertion)

Keith: Why are you defending corporate lobbyists, Clinnie?

Clinton: I want fundamental reform. I hate Bush.

Keith: You say you don’t take lobbyist money but you let them bundle for you and raise money for you, Blackie.

Black- err Obama: That’s not true. You can believe me because I said so. I like working people, trust me ~_^

Keith: Edwards aren’t you a trial lawyer and doesn’t that make you absolute scum?

Edwards: No. Lobbyists are bribers and lawyers are lawyers. I love working people, promise.

Keith: Bidey, would you appoint a Republican to appoint Pentagon or DHS?

Biden: Maybe. I have a lot of experience “reaching across the aisle.” (like he did with the worst of the Republican adventures).

Keith: No one has blown us up lately. Isn’t DHS wonderful?

Doddy: Er, um, no.

Keith: What have Democrats accomplished during this session?

Kucinich: Not much but I try a lot. The Democrats have sucked in this new Congress.

(crowd applauds)

Keith: Obama would you honor Barry Bonds at the White House? (wtf..)

Obama: I want young people to look up to sports. (he’s being way too serious about this question…)

Keith: Yo Clinnie what about Katrina?

Clinton: I hate Bush.

Keith: Would you pledge to stop no-bid contracts.

Biden: Yes.

Keith: As President will it disturb you that the race to replace you would begin perhaps days into your Presidency? (very good question)

Richardson: Ya it would and I’m experienced. I love New Mexico. I am New Mexico.

Obama: Campaigns last too long, cost too much money, and I generally hate all of them except my own.

Biden: It wouldn’t bother me. No one is as cool as me.

Clinton: I’ll be too busy. (panders with leftish rhetoric about what she’ll do)
Keith: Doddy, am I the only one who is troubled by the constant campaigning?

Dodd: Nah, we just hate Bush.

Edwards: Publicly finance the campaigns!

(3 people in audience clap)

(Edwards tells story about disabled person, strangely)

Kucinich: (lots of leftish rhetoric)

(big applause from crowd)

Keith: This debate actually didn’t suck as much as the others. Maybe they should have me moderate a few more of these?

(Chris Matthews comes in to drool over Clinton, calls her “majestic”; does all the bullshit horserace coverage where he comments on things like it’s a beauty show and not something that determines the future of billions of people -- interesting note I met him and talked to him when he came to UGA; yeah I can’t stand watching this anymore they’re commenting like this is a sports game these people don’t live in the real world…)

"

Let's just say it wouldn't be very pretty for any candidate except for Kucinich, according to this new poll:

"Survey of Public Attitudes Makes Kucinich the Runaway Leader on the Issues"

CLEVELAND, Aug. 3 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/-- In the political equivalent of a "blind taste test" taken by more than 67,000 participants, an independent website surveying public attitudes on various issues is reporting that Ohio Congressman and Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich is the first choice of a phenomenal 53% of respondents.

No other candidate, Democrat or Republican, even reaches double digits.

The website (http://www.dehp.net/candidate/) has been asking respondents to express and rank their opinions on 25 different issues -- the war in Iraq, health care, the environment, Patriot Act, etc. -- that have been raised and debated among the Presidential candidates in both parties. Those surveyed vote only on the issues, not for or against any individual candidate. The 67,000-plus responses were then correlated with the positions of all of the candidates as reported on www.2decide.com/table.htm.

The results are here: www.dehp.net/candidate/stats.php.

As of this morning (the survey is recalculated every five minutes), more than 35,600 respondents were "in sync" with Kucinich on the issues. Democratic front-runner Senator Hillary Clinton was the first-place choice of only about 2,400 respondents (3.6%). Other leading candidates fared even worse: Senator Barack Obama (3%), and former Senator John Edwards (1.3%).

"When people vote exclusively on the issues that are important to them, without being influenced by name recognition, celebrity, or millions of mdollars in advertising, Congressman Kucinich wins in a landslide," his campaign said today."