In response to a committee vote last week supporting same-sex marriage in Washington D.C., the Catholic Church is threatening to stop providing social services for the city, including meals for the homeless and health care assistance.

The proposal, approved by the city’s Public Safety and Judiciary Committee, gives religious groups the right to withdraw from participating in the “solemnization or celebration” of same-sex marriage.

But the fear is that Catholics would be required under the bill to provide other services like “employee benefits, adoption services and even the use of a church hall for non-wedding events for same-sex married couples,” according to the Archdiocese in the city.

The church’s Catholic Charities serves roughly 68,000 people and 1/3 of the homeless population in DC, threatening the city’s low-income community.

However, other legal experts claim the proposal would have little effect on the church’s religious rights.

Apparently, the Church’s belief in the “sanctity” of marriage has triumphed over the “duty to the poor,” greatly contrasting the dustup with the church’s own moral teachings prioritizing social justice.

So the City Council approves equality legislation and the church sees a moral imperative to make a threat that could jeopardize the livelihood of thousands?

Using people as a leverage against policy is treating the less fortunate as a means to an end instead of an end in themselves – a moral philosophy much more in tune with Catholic theology than petty politics.

Even after threat, council members aren’t backing down, and the bill is predicted to pass sometime next month.

As The Huffington Post reports, hours after Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan allegedly killed 13 and wounded 31 at Ft. Hood Army Base on Nov. 5, a local candidate and the media are trying to frame this issue through the lens of terrorism.

Lt. Col. Allen West issued a statement saying “This enemy preys on downtrodden soldiers and teaches them extremism will lift them up." He added, “Terrorists are infiltrating Military," and, "Our soldiers are being brainwashed."

Ralph Peters of the New York Post claims it was “the worst act of terror on American soil since 9/11. And no one wants to call it an act of terror or associate it with Islam.”

Unfortunately, there is no common definition of terrorism, but the Department of Defense defines it as “The calculated use of unlawful violence or threat of unlawful violence to inculcate fear; intended to coerce or to intimidate governments or societies in the pursuit of goals that are generally political, religious, or ideological.” West’s idea of terrorism implies organizational capacity, while Peters suggests identifiable political and religious motives.

Instead of politicizing this act, it may be helpful to examine instead of assume. An incorrect and tactless assumption could cause serious repercussions for the Muslim community.

There is no information as of yet to suggest a political or religious objective for yesterday’s violent act. Nor is there any indication at all that this was planned or organized.

Even by their standards, the New York Post should be ashamed to publish such garbage. Not only is Peters jumping the gun on guilt, but he is capitalizing on fear by directly implying that this tragedy is a result of political and religious extremism without any facts to back this implication up. Peters even goes so far as to imply that Islam itself is a violent religion.

Hasan, an Arab-American Muslim of Palestinian descent, is purported to have strongly disagreed with his impending deployment. But according to an AP report, an anonymous army official said that Hasan was willing to go to Afghanistan but not Iraq. This peculiarity provides context that compounds attempts to neatly tie it to political-religious terrorism or organized crime.

Instead of jumping the gun on this issue, let’s for once turn to examination. Whether people like it or not, Hasan is an American citizen. Therefore, he is a product of American culture.

Rent-a-Ruminant and The Goat Patrol are advertising brush removal as an eco-friendly alternative over traditional landscaping options. Though the idea perhaps sounds a bit too absurd to be true, this is no joke. It turns out goats are actually better at removing brush in hard to reach, dangerous areas. They’re better climbers, they have better balance, they’ll pretty much eat anything, and they leave natural fertilizer.

“Tammy” started Rent-a-Ruminant in 2004. Based out of Seattle, the company has provided services for universities, construction projects, public utilities, and park districts. The Goat Patrol, based out of North Carolina, was founded by Alix Bowman. Despite the seriousness of their cause, it’s clear the business owners have a sense of humor.

Tammy gives himself the comically dramatic title of “Chief Goat Wrangler,” and Bowman has an entire section of the website introducing the public to Mr. Pickles, Buster, and Magnus – just three of her day labors.

An excerpt:

Magnus von Magnusson, Magnus to his friends, is a two year old pygmy. He loves being part of the herd and fits in well with the other goats. We don't know what happened to Magnus before he wound up at APS, but we can tell it impacted his trust of people. We are giving him plenty of time and space to grow comfortable. We fully expect Magnus to become as confident with people as he is with the other goats.

Today, conservative think-tanks Conservatives for Patients’ Rights and FreedomWorks unveiled what they see as a promising response to President Obama’s plan for health care overhaul. The user-friendly initiative, still in its beginning stages, is an iPhone application intended to give Americans impersonal access to quality health care.

“Now, Americans won’t need comprehensive health care reform,” FreedomWorks Chairman and former House Majority Leader Dick Armey concluded after extensive meetings with rich, publicly insured conservative legislators.

“We realized that our ‘Don’t get sick!’ plan was a bit insensitive, so we partnered with Apple and WebMD to propose something for the common folk,” proudly stated Rick Scott, a Conservatives for Patients’ Rights spokesman.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce supports the effort. “It’s totally consistent with free-market ideology. Therefore, it’s totally frickin’ rad and gonna fix stuff good! Ipso facto!” the U.S. Chamber of Commerce praised in a press statement issued earlier today.

The free application, which is still in development, will ostensibly analyze a user’s symptoms to determine a narrow set of potential diseases. To cover the costs of providing the service, the application will bludgeon the user with a series of obnoxious advertisements.

“For example, if you have a sore throat, an ad for Tropicana orange juice will pop up. Fatigue? How about a Monster energy drink?” Apple CEO Steve Jobs explained in a press conference earlier today.

FreedomWorks and Conservatives for Patients’ Rights hope lawmakers will adopt their idea into their final heath care reform plan. The application, believed to placate the nation’s 50 million angry uninsured, is expected to drive hoards of people willing to settle for less to the polls in support of conservative, government-hating candidates in 2010. The hope: big gains for right-wingers, a group desperately trying to reconnect with people in a hip, new way.

“If there’s one thing people love, it’s the technological substitution of a basic human need. For example, TV for friends, Twitter for conversation, or an electric car for moral substance. After noticing this, it was really just a matter of time,” Armey explained.

FreedomWorks leaders say their plan will stop any effort for a government-run public option dead in its tracks. “Capitalism rules, socialism drools,” Armey bellowed.

The user is expected to already have an iPhone. “What kind of a loser doesn’t already have an iPhone?!” Armey asked incredulously.

Program developers expect the application to be available sometime before Christmas.