Never has a competition caused so much drama and pain, destroyed so many friendships and mobilized a people toward a common goal as the free food-a-thon 2008. The interns have fallen prey to the sadistic social experiment concocted by and for the pleasure of our scheming superiors. Once a united group in which CP interns could feel safe and comfortable with whom they are is now plagued by factions, backstabbing and debauchery. Much like in the animal world.

Plus, I learned that a certain department and its interns are plotting against me. The only support I have is my mom’s. No matter, I’m still fighting for the coveted title.

My breakfast excursion was to start bright and early this morning at 7:30, but when my bus was over 30 minutes late, I knew I was going to miss breakfast at the World Bank’s education reform event. But the march goes on. I trekked across D.C. to the lucrative building where suits plot to cripple economies and the environment and thought I might still have a shot. I saw a sign for the Global Youth Leaders’ Conference and thought it would be the perfect opportunity to at least snag a glass of OJ. I went through two security checkpoints and, after making up a story about being with the press, a security guard escorted me to the event. Once inside, no one questioned me and I began furiously taking notes on a little pad. Victory was mine.

But wait—want to know why the World Bank sucks? Well there are about a million reasons, but the one I’m most concerned with is the fact that they DON’T FEED THE CHILDREN. There were about 400 students there, and not even a cup of coffee! I was appalled. After verifying that there was not a crumb to be consumed, I faked a call and hurried out.

I tried to crash a hotel’s breakfast but lost my nerve after four bellhops told me they’d “take good care of me.” Creepy. Next, I stopped by a church on the small chance that if I’d agree to take some info and sign up, they’d give me something. I apologize for the blasphemy, but no luck.

I decided to juxtapose the World Bank’s contribution to world hunger by channeling Gandhi and going on a hunger strike for breakfast. But the grumbling in my tummy was just far more than I could handle so I hurried into Cosí and filled my pockets with as many delicious white chocolate macademia nut cookie samples as I could. Who needs a gourmet breakfast from some institute when I have warm (ish) cookies? Mmmm, cookies. Oh, and a complimentary cup of water—score!

There is no way I’m giving up. I’m not ready to make nice and I’m not ready to back down.