Young Jeezy said, “You gotta believe” at the beginning of his acclaimed album Lets Get it: Thug Motivation 101. I do believe…I do believe…in myself that is.

 Name me who has crossed race, gender and now class and political leanings to get free food???????
Who?????

 That’s right. Read on...

“…you gotta believe…you gotta believe…”

SETTING: Conference: Social Media for Government, with tools, tips and techniques from the CIA, Health and Human Services Department, American Cancer Society and city of Chesapeake, Va. At the Melrose Hotel in Washington.

THE GOAL: To get into a 4:45pm “networking” hour with an open bar called “The Library” on the ground level of the hotel.

I arrive almost as the conference is ending. I enter, assume that the conference is downstairs and so I go in that direction. I hear clapping. I head that way. Two ladies at the check-in desk? Not a problem. I walk on by.

Enter the ballroom. Only about 50 people there. Not a problem. I take a seat in the back.

“Now if you’ll all head upstairs, there is a free open bar for the next hour…” the man at the front says.

People slowly get up. I walk to one of the many tables to collect materials in hopes of making myself look more like I fit in. A woman approaches me and starts blabbing on about the conference. I get nervous but hold my cool. I nod. Say “yeah” and “uh-huh” and “oh yes, I totally agree” about four-thousand times. Finally, she leaves and I shuffle out with the crowd to the bar.

By the time we get to the bar, about half of the crowd has gone elsewhere so there aren’t many people. After about 5 minutes the bartender with a thick European accent looks at me and asks,

“Yes?”

“Seven and Seven please.”

“You are with the conference, yes?”

“I am…”

She pauses and looks at me.

“Yes! I am with the conference. Would you like to see my nametag??”

“No, no its okay…”

Voila! A seven and seven arrives. I take the cocktail outside and quickly pull all the materials I have in my backpack out and scatter them across the table for two reasons:

1. It makes it look like I am all business and apart of the conference
2. So that no one will sit by me.

In addition, I write gibberish on a yellow memo pad quickly with sloppy handwriting to make it look, once again, like I am from the conference and have important things to write down. Then, I pull out my phone and text two people at CP. Then I continue to write gibberish quickly. No serious…for example here is an excerpt:

    “Muscles and defense so if right now I was at 1658 that would mean C-A-L-I would be 13. Which would equal if we e-xed it and so forth and so on…OH no!”

After my first seven and seven is done, I decide to call a friend. No one is suspicious it seems and I think I am in the home clear.

Another one? Why not? 10 minutes later a bartender comes outside to clear off some glasses.

“Sir! May I have another seven and seven?”

“Are you with the conference?”

“Why…of course…”

Quickly he brings me another drink. I put my shades on as the sun begins to set and sip away.