The Campus Progress annual Free Food-a-Thon is underway, and frankly, it's just not that creative. Everyone crashes a conference or event to secure token continental breakfast, then we crash another for lunch and perhaps we're ballsy enough to bluff our way into a fancy gala for dinner. Not me. I refuse to be another template for the Intern's Guide to Free Food-A-Thons sure to appear any day now in the Self Help section of Barnes and Noble. Not me.  

So, I thought. What would make me stand out? Going to a not-your-average student leadership conference might help. In my internet perusals, I discovered one for grounds maintenance and another for the brotherhood of electrical workers.  

Eating more than three square meals might be a start. Finding a way not just to survive, but to live the gluttonous life for free...that's impressive.  

I set out to consider my strategy, but all my ideas for originality eventually hit a brick wall. First of all, bartering (though I still argue Aditi's performance--essentially trading talent in exchange for food--opened the doors to this) was outlawed. This of course made me wonder whether using feminine wiles to secure food was permissible. After all, we allow people to masquerade as interested participants in esoteric plenaries, so why not masquerade as someone actually interested in Tim: friendly local Starbucks barrista? Outright theft is frowned upon. Yet, it seems this contest follows a policy of theft by any other means because taking food from a pre-paid event is technically stealing--or maybe it's not if the event is buffet-style/all-you-can-eat because there's no way to determine how much food would be consumed by that measurement (though I have been reprimanded for taking food to-go at such venues since apparently there's a location-specific addenum on such signs).  I was getting caught up in the details.  

True, the CAP Intern BBQ at 3 guaranteed free food. But, for me, it wasn't about satiating my hunger. In fact, I knew I wouldn't get that hungry. It was about the chase, the search, my ego.  

I started looking through the papers to see if I couldn't infuse this contest with some Wedding Crashers mentality and dress up, savor swanky food (and wedding cake), and dance a little in the evening. However, DC's papers didn't prove helpful. This city is invitation-only-obsessed.  

I kept looking...and then I fell asleep.  

With no time left to actually plan (in the wake of extensive pre-planning) I started the day without a clue. Guess we'll see where my need to be special takes me, but I have a feeling it may drop me at the doorstep of humility. I'll be Googling throughout the day in hopes of staying in this, but as of now, I'd say I'm officially the underdog.