More than just mothers
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Over a cup of coffee last night, I spoke with a friend who will soon as graduate school as a chemist and eventually pursuit her doctorate.
I made the comment that she wasn't like other female college students, who would either finish college and get married or enter into fields that are traditionally female.
This brought up the debate of how we can better cater to female students on different campuses, to ensure fields of sciences and math suit them better. It's not that I am a difference feminist - but I do believe in fundamental social differences between males and females, simply because of the way we were raised and what society expects of us.
My friend made the comment that even now, it's extremely hard for female students to major in fields that are traditionally male-dominated, simply because of a lack of female professors who can serve as mentors and motivators, and who understands the female students' ways of thinking.
I believe it's an imperative that we start paying more attention to female students in science and mathematic fields. This is not only because it's the right thing to do, but because academia and progress depends on it. I can learn all I want about the plight and challenges of women, but in the end, it is the woman who has a clearer understanding of those challenges - and those in powerful positions have a chance to make more of a difference than I ever can.
So, the questions then become: what challenges currently face female college students? How we can make campus a more wholesome environment for them? How can we motivate female high-school graduates to enter into more male-dominated fields in college? And finally, how we can argue that while creating a family is important, female college graduates should focused more on academia and work - the two things that are going to change the world?
Being a mother is nice - but being a politician, scientist, professor and difference maker is even more important.
Thoughts?
By the way, in now way am I putting down motherhood. It's important, but there are important things in the world than baking, changing diapers and talking baby talks.
I made the comment that she wasn't like other female college students, who would either finish college and get married or enter into fields that are traditionally female.
This brought up the debate of how we can better cater to female students on different campuses, to ensure fields of sciences and math suit them better. It's not that I am a difference feminist - but I do believe in fundamental social differences between males and females, simply because of the way we were raised and what society expects of us.
My friend made the comment that even now, it's extremely hard for female students to major in fields that are traditionally male-dominated, simply because of a lack of female professors who can serve as mentors and motivators, and who understands the female students' ways of thinking.
I believe it's an imperative that we start paying more attention to female students in science and mathematic fields. This is not only because it's the right thing to do, but because academia and progress depends on it. I can learn all I want about the plight and challenges of women, but in the end, it is the woman who has a clearer understanding of those challenges - and those in powerful positions have a chance to make more of a difference than I ever can.
So, the questions then become: what challenges currently face female college students? How we can make campus a more wholesome environment for them? How can we motivate female high-school graduates to enter into more male-dominated fields in college? And finally, how we can argue that while creating a family is important, female college graduates should focused more on academia and work - the two things that are going to change the world?
Being a mother is nice - but being a politician, scientist, professor and difference maker is even more important.
Thoughts?
By the way, in now way am I putting down motherhood. It's important, but there are important things in the world than baking, changing diapers and talking baby talks.
!
Men can become fathers without worrying about sacrificing their careers, and women can too. In the first place, stay-at-home dads do exist, allowing the wife to take on the "traditional male role."
But perhaps she's a single mother, or both partners work. It's true, there aren't great options: childcare is expensive, and not excellent. However, this is not an inalterable issue. During WWII, when women were told to get out of the home and into war industry, daycare facilities were set-up that proved immensely successful. Then, when the soldiers came back and wanted their old jobs, daycare was discontinued and women were shoved back into the home.
In truth, being a full-time stay-at-home mother can be a waste of time, especially if you only have one child. When children go to the park or on playdates, they are entertaining each other and mothers are left superfluous on the sidelines making small talk. One caregiver can take care of multiple children; my mother left me with a neighbor who already had two children when I was young, which I loved because of course I wanted to spend time with kids my age. My mom had her career, and the neighbor could take care of a third child with a minor addional expenditure of energy.
I think that situation was ideal; I don't think it's healthy for mothers to spend all their time with their children. Mothers and kids both need social interaction with others their age. But aside from getting lucky with a good neighbor as my mother did, the childcare options suck. Daycare in this country just isn't very good--they try to take on too many children, and it's not a respected profession so a lot of the employees are substandard, which is the last thing you want for your children.
We need better daycare; it's a career, like any other, and some women (and men) are suited and desire to care for kids, just like some are suited to be doctors, others businesspeople, others artists. It's a dispositional thing, not a gender-defined characteristic.
Some people argue that parents shouldn't have kids if they're just going to pass them off to someone else. First of all, that's exactly what men have been doing in the traditional husband role, so it seems that a parent actually isn't that important. Actually, I believe parents are important, and if they want to have kids they should (both!) be spending time with them. But this doesn't mean all day--it means getting home at a decent hour, and spending the weekend with your kids. In some ways, this does restrict your career options--but parent or not, putting in 80 hour work weeks to get a promotion isn't healthy, and it's a failing of our culture that we don't encourage social pursuits and continuing education and learning about the world once we've entered the work world, focusing on career only.
Having a child will take a lot of time, and will limit the amount of time you have for a career. Then again, so does a hobby. The corporate world with its expected overtime makes parenthood difficult--but it's not good for a child to have a stay-at-home mother and a father always at the office. There needs to be balance between work and the other aspects of life.
Some people devote themselves to a cause which doesn't leave any time for other things (Mountains Beyond Mountains, the summer reading students were assigned before starting at Dartmouth provides an excellent example of this). But the fulfillment they get from their jobs, and the great need they see in the world, leads them to make this choice. They give up social relationships, and they wouldn't be able to be parents. This is an extreme minority though; typical careers still lend themselves to parenthood, provided we agitate for some changes in society that would benefits mothers, fathers, and non-parents alike.
I think you've found the solution that people often ignore -- parents, especially single ones, should be able to go to school and work focused on what they're doing, and not have to worry about what's happening with their children.
The solution for younger children, then, is to provide good daycare facilities that will nurture and take care of the children, while for the older kids, we must provide safe and wholesome after school programs, instead of having the kids running around the neighborhood, getting involved in drugs. sex and myspace.
By allowing working mothers (they are especially important) to do the work they do, this sets the examples for the next generation of young girls, who'll be able to see that their place isn't just at the desk in an office, or in the kitchen, but that the possibilities are endless.
You made me think -- good on you!