Paleontologists have discovered un-fossilized soft tissues inside the thigh bone of a Montana T-Rex. The discovery raises the possibility of DNA extraction and even -- cue epic soundtrack -- cloning. More realistically, the sample will allow scientists to better understand the place of dinosaurs in the evolutionary scheme. But I choose to think about the cloning part instead.

Dinosaurs could be just what the progressive movement need to get the ball rolling. Let us not allow the advocates of creationism to prevent us from making a whole herd of really, really big lizards. Thunder lizards even. Or even a couple of herds. We'll make them all female, so nothing gets out of hand. There'll be no denying evolution once these babies are roaming our streets. If a bronto doesn't like a one-ton carving of the Ten Commandments, well guess what, the bronto just whacks it with her tail and bam, it's over. She doesn't even feel the impact for a couple of seconds because her brain is so far away from her tail.

And come to think of it, there won't be any drilling in ANWR either, not if the dinos don't want it. And somehow, I doubt they will -- one species' fossil fuel is another species' deceased ancestry. To a dino, the blood in "No blood for oil" hits even closer to home, so our Mesozoic friends are likely to get us out of Iraq. Of course, they'll probably get the Iraqis out of Iraq, too.

Finally, dinosaurs will put to rest criticisms that the left is weak on national securiity. Dinosaurs, for the aforementioned reasons, are sure to be leftists, and dinosaurs are not weak on anything. They can literally stamp out terrorism. To them, bin Laden, Zarqawi, and the entire al-Qaeda network are so many tasty snacks.

So, my fellow progressive Americans, sleep a little easier tonight. I have seen the future, and it’s going to be dino-mite.