Don’t be An Escalump!

If you want to stand out as being an out-of-towner, so ahead and use the Metro anyway you see fit. But, if you want to look like a Washitonian on the platform, follow a few simple rules.

 Rule 1: Don’t be an Esaclump. Pronounced es-ke-lump. Metro defines an escalump as a person who becomes a human speed bump by stopping suddenly at the top or bottom of a Metro escalator. This is not a joke or a work of fiction. Seriously, natives to the city and people who’ve lived and worked here long enough get really upset when people stop stop traffic to look around on the escalator.

Rule 2: When you are on the escalator, coming down or going up, you should always stand to the right or walk to the left. Everyone understands that you may not be in as much of a hurry as the next man or woman, but we don’t have to get in the way of their progress.

Rule 3: When entering or exiting the Metro station, pay close attention to which gate you put your ticket into. If you don’t and make a mistake, it stops the people behind you, someone could walk through your passage, and you could look kind of silly.  I watched one lady have a frantic fit about how she put her card through twice and that she had $16 on the card. She rambled on to the station attendant to fix the problem so she could exit. The attendant just looked at her like she was crazy and pointed to the open gate on the other side of the woman. Don’t let this happen to you!