10:45 Forget free food-a-thon. I went on a free food marathon today in my attempts to satisfy my stomach without paying. The day started at quarter to 11 with a walk to Chinatown. Courtesy of a happy coupon I received from a fellow intern earlier in the week (you see that judges? That’s called thinking ahead), California Tortilla was providing me with a free Pop-tart. Now why a Mexican fast-food joint was giving away pop-tarts was beyond me, but I know better than to look a free-food gift horse in the mouth.

I happily munched my brown sugar with cinnamon icing breakfast pastry while walking to the Chinatown metro stop, reminiscing the days when pop-tarts were my companions on the bus ride to elementary school in the mornings.  Did you know that the amount of time it takes to walk from California tortilla to the metro stop is the perfect amount time to finish eating a pop-tart?  Funny how these things work out. 

11:15

I emerged from the Farragut North metrostop with time to spare and made my way to AEI for a panel discussion on the economic implications of the Google merger with DoubleClick.  Naturally, a full lunch would be served.  Worrying about the regulatory implications of the possible development of an advertising monopoly on the internet always whets the appetite.  At least, if you’re from AEI. 

I walked into find a long, white, tablecloth-covered table lined with gold-rimmed china, silverware, and an assortment of sandwich wraps.  Further down there was pasta salad, potato chips (of the kettle-cook variety) and a spring mix salad with artichoke as well.  Petite chocolate chip cookies were to be found on another table at the end of the room. 

I took my seat, confident of a secure lead against my competitor (breakfast and lunch and it wasn’t even 11:35), and preparing for an informative and delectable meal.  But my peace was no to be had; no sooner had I poured my can of Fresca into my tall glass with ice then a long shadow fell over my plate.  I turned to face none other than the infamous Quiet Storm, more commonly known as Ben Regenspan. 

Ben unassumingly seated himself beside me.  A tumbleweed rolled by in the distance.  “Fancy seeing you here,” I commented.  “Likewise.” 

I noticed the Ben didn’t seem to appreciate the meaning of the phrase “variety is the spice of life” based on the selection of food on his plate.  Despite the three different forms of wrap made available to us, he chose to only eat one.  Tsk.  Amateur. 

This post is getting long so I’ll fast forward.  I bounced out of AEI with a full and happy stomach determined to one up Ben for showing up at the same event as I did, so I headed over to Capitol Hill for free hot dogs as had been advertised by another SoCap blogger.  Unfortunately, I was disappointed.  The event was invitation only, and all of my shrewd tactics and feminine wiles weren’t enough to gain admittance.  However, unlike my competitor who came straight back to CP after his lunch, at least I gave the effort.  And don’t worry, I’m not done yet.  I may be small, but as Sonya the Black Widow has proven, in the world of competitive eating,  size doesn't matter.