Have you noticed the virtual cornucopia of buffets, mini quiches, sandwiches, smorgasbord, and hors d’oeuvres served at various free events around DC? No? If you haven’t started your foraging regimen, consider it potential training for graduate school.

That’s right, one day you will experience life without a meal plan, that convenient one-swipe card providing access to myriad food stations that require only that you dispose of your tray. We at Campus Progress are all about developing skills for young progressives, primary amongst them being physical survival, embodied in the ability to sustain oneself on little money.

The details: Next week, Campus Progress interns will compete, two a day, where they will document their meals/snacks/crumbs from the floor, all of which must be free (not previously bought by the eater or purchased immediately before by another party specifically for the eater). They'll scramble for that last pig-in-blanket, angle for that mini muffin, and schmooze their way into that fancy embassy cocktail party. 

Next Monday through Thursday, we will hold qualifying rounds where two interns a day will compete to find the best free food in the District. Then, the following Monday, the four finalists will square off in a winner-take-all battle royal. “Celebrity” judges will be on hand to decide which intern takes the title, but we need your help. Feel free to leave tips about where to find free food, or thoughts about who should win each round, in the Comments section.

Check back on Monday for Day 1 of the competition when James "Big Red" Downie and Carnivorous Cara Boekeloo square off.