Now I’m a peace-loving person (make love, not war, and all that jazz) but I’ll always remember the summer when Super Soakers hit the shelves. It was unbelievable that one piece of neon green and orange plastic could transform my summer from placid kickball games and lemonade stands to all-out, every-kid-for-himself mortal combat.

 I think my Super Soaker was sold at a yard sale long ago (along with the ol’ Slip n Slide, and that weird crocodile thing that was basically a Slip n Slide but had a picture of a crocodile on it), but this Slate article (and the fact that it’s hot as hell in DC) rekindled my desire to run to my nearest KB Toys and show the Campus Progress staff who’s boss (those miniature squirtguns in the copyroom won’t help you, CP)

The article rates this year’s coolest pieces of water weaponry, giving points for Strength, Ease of Use, and Fun. The Super Soaker Aquashock Artic Blast comes in with a strong 21 points (out of 25), but it’s the battery-powered Water Warriors Tarantula that takes the top prize.

If anyone’s interested in waging water war today, I’ll be waiting near the playground after I finish watching the Disney Afternoon.