This Friday (or so it has been rumored), August 1, 2008, will witness a historic opening in DC. No longer will us DC folks have to sacrifice our last tanks of gas to drive to Takoma Park or Forestville in search of a “Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity”  because, IHOP IS COMING TO DC!!!! And guess what? The lucky community that will house this great pantheon of pancakes is none other than Congress Heights.

Home to other fine eateries such as Subway, New York Chicken, and a slew of Carry-Outs (pronounced “curry out” and not native to all parts of DC, i.e. Georgetown), the opening of  the IHOP in Congress Heights marks the continued dietary assault on the residents of  Southeast. 

As the old adage for Alabama Ave goes, “If it ain’t been alive and can’t be fried, on this Avenue you will not dine”, and it is the witnessed truth, for one can count on one hand the diverse, healthy , and inexpensive food options available to community of Congress Heights, particularly along Alabama Ave.  If you want anything other than a Cold Cut ( Giant or Subway ) or 20 oversized wings stuffed into a Styrofoam container ( the infamous “Curry Out” ) , be prepared to hop on the 92 and take that 15 minute ride into Eastern Market  (quiet as it’s kept, a part of Southeast.)   

Now, one will argue that the new IHOP is a good thing for Congress Heights, as it will bring jobs to the community that will result in an “economic boom”, which will result in Alabama Ave becoming the new H St. Corridor. However, what’s so great about an “economic boom” (with a side of gentrification) when I work with seven and eight year old girls who shop at Lane Bryant or asthmatically huff, “Ms. Nia… I…m…s…ooo…t…i…r...e...d”, when dragging themselves up the four flights of stairs it takes to get to their classrooms.  It’s no wonder that issues of Diabetes and Hypertension plague the black community, especially in low income areas such Congress Heights where the median household income is….but enough  of that, I’m sure you saw CNN’s “groundbreaking” Black In America series ( please note the sarcasm). With this said, I’ll admit it: I will be eating at IHOP on Friday (in support of the community), but while I’m attacking my plate of “Rooty Tooty Fresh ’N Fruity”, posted at my table will be a large sign that says, “WE WANT HEALTHER FOOD OPTIONS IN THE ‘HOOD ” and passages from “How To Eat to Live” will be read out loud between bites of turkey bacon:  Is that counter-revolutionary?

 *Tonight’s title is taken from a track off of Talib Kweli’s 2007 album, “Eardrum”.