My whole life, people have been asking me. “Hey, Nick, what are you? Where are you from? Are you Puerto Rican or Spanish, or something, right?” For years, I have given the same response to the total disbelief of everybody. “No man, I’m not Hispanic, I don’t speak Spanish, and no my last name really doesn’t have emphasis on the second to last syllable.” Weekly, I have casually given this answer to countless people who for some reason can’t accept the fact that I might not be Hispanic. In the past, these comments have made me chuckle or led to interesting conversations but today all of this speculation finally paid off.

After watching the first round of competitors yesterday, I sprang into action bright and early this morning with a real plan, kinda. Stepping off of the Farragut North Metro Stop at 8:07, I mentally prepared myself as I walked towards the Organization of American States at 17th and Constitution.

Arriving at 8:18, I was quickly approached by the woman at the front desk who was helping register people for the Congressional Hispanic Leadership Conference. Having done a little research, I was completely calm. “Are you registered for today’s conference,” she asked. “Yes, I’m an intern here in D.C. and I got an email from my organization all about the conference with instructions about registering the day of.” Not being on the official list clearly made no difference, she ripped off a nametag, handed me the agenda, program list, and evaluation form and directed me to the swanky lobby where breakfast had just opened. I made my way down the hall and walked into a room with tables full of bagels, cinnamon rolls, crème filled pastries, muffins, scones, just about anything that can be baked that you can imagine, juices, water, and, of course, coffee.

Not wanting to seem the odd person out, I quickly collected my breakfast and headed towards a not yet occupied ledge. I opened my program and read the first sentence:

 “As a commitment to advancing the next generation of Hispanic and Portuguese American leaders, Ford Motor Company and CHLI have combined forces to create this innovative program as a means to provide leadership training and mentoring opportunities to a group of promising students”  

Not fazed by my lack of Hispanic or Portuguese heritage, I confidentially walked right up to a group of program participants to make small talk. As I approached, one girl smiled at me and asked, “¿Como estas?” Now I took five years of Spanish in middle and high school but I panicked. I stammered, smiled and said “muy bien.” I did it I thought. I survived. But it wasn’t over. I only wish that I could write here what she said next. The truth is I couldn’t even begin to recall the first word of it. I freaked out. I mean c’mon, I listened to a woman and her 3 year old kid yammer for 15 minutes in Spanish on the METRO yesterday about the ins and outs of Sesame Street. Laughing when the kid kept saying “Big Bird es Amarillo si mama” His mother quickly responded, “Si, si, cariño muy bien.” But no, a cute girl asks me one question in Spanish and I absolutely lose it. Realizing that I was about to overstay my welcome, I simply responded. “Si, como no” (yes, of course) to God knows what and kept it moving slowly enough to see her look puzzled and kind of turn her face in laughter. By 8:29 I was out the door to “make a phone call” and I never looked back.

It only being 8:29 I thought that I would give some other breakfasts a try so I arrived at the J.W. Marriot to test my luck. Unfortunately, food was scarce and although I managed to pick up the conference materials for the 15th annual Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies, I wasn’t able to take away anything more than an orange juice in an abandoned break-out room set-up for a 9:15 am session.

Sweating profusely and tired from my long walk, I headed to the office with two extra pastries for my competitors (just in case they were hungry). After being accosted by a “hell no I don’t want your stinking pastry” by Artair I decided that I would keep the extra cinnamon rolls to myself. After all, lunch isn’t guaranteed.

Stay tuned for lunch. If everything works out, it’s going to be a doozey.