Unfortunately, I don’t have any wowing stories to tell about my free-food escapades for dinner last night. It’s hard to keep your level of competition up when your competitors are so far beneath you. Instead, I will tell a short anecdote in order to convey one thing: IT’S ON.

As I left the office yesterday, dressed in my softball garb and ready to beat down the New America Foundation (the leftfielders won 16-6 btw), I was asked by our fearless free food captain Sir. Thomas "I desperately wish it were me working tirelessly for the glory of free food" Coen: “Nick, where are you going for dinner?” “Dinner?” I exclaimed. “Why would I need to go to dinner? Have you even heard a peep from any of my competitors?” Dissatisfied with that answer, The free food piner replied. “Well, you have to eat you know. Otherwise how can you go out and be the star softball player that you are and win the game for us singlehandedly (I’m paraphrasing of course)?” “Ok, ok” I conceded. While I’m not going to go sneak into a conference happy hour or take a tour of a model home for some hors’dourvs and drinks, there is one easy thing I will do. See I have this coupon for California tortilla (all you have to do is sign up for their mailing list online) and I can go get free tacos as long as I make several copies and go to several locations.” Now, because our office is structured much like a trading floor space (without all those silly red jackets though…the pushing, yelling and especially fighting is absolutely the same however), CP’s own Aditi Hardikar overheard me bragging about my plethora of single-taco coupons. This is about the time when she decided to insert herself into our conversation. “Wait, I did that yesterday,” she said both offended and unnerved. “I know,” I nonchalantly returned. “I took your coupon off of your desk while you were out of the office and photocopied it a bunch of times. Thanks btw.” Predictably, the office erupted in laughter, a laughter that filled the room with both a feeling and a promise: Aditi felt abused and IT WAS OFFICIALLY ON (watch 7th min to the end).

Thank you tiny Mexican baby (Watch the Above Clip!)…IT IS ON…