A final post before I get to hang up my CPAC name badge and take off my conservative stickers for the night. And now, what you've all been waiting for: some glimpses of Ann Coulter's routine. And really, that's what her speech at CPAC was--a routine to get plenty of applause from an audience she already knows supports her. Throw in a Clinton joke here, a Kerry joke there, and slip in some harsh criticism of Republicans in Washington for not being conservative enough… There certainly wasn't any intelligent discussion of policy, just a lot of name calling and mud slinging--and I wouldn't expect any less of Coulter, since that's how she's made a name for herself and sustains a career as a speaker and writer.



Instead of trying to describe the horror that uncontrollably rose in my chest as Coulter spoke, I'll share some excerpts from her speech. This afternoon, her particular enemies were Muslims and Republicans who aren't conservative enough. Enjoy, and by that I mean try to contain your justified rage while you read:

"The one notable exception to the Muslims with bipolar disorder is in Iraq, I note, so I guess this war for oil has side benefits. Muslims are the only group [sic] who kill because they're angry people have called them violent.
…
These riots of Muslims remind us why we have to take seriously the threat that Iran has nukes. Maybe they do, maybe they don't--but they're certainly acting like they do. What if they start having one of these bipolar episodes with nuclear weapons? If you don't want to get shot by the police, don't point a gun at them--or as I think our motto should be, post-9/11, raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences."

When asked to describe the most difficult moral decision she'd made during her career, Coutler responded "There was one time when I had a shot at Clinton." Clearly, she doesn't consider the moral implications of her hateful statements very often, if at all.

Things got more interesting when she opened the floor to questions from the audience. Here's a telling exchange between Coulter and a student representative from Muslims for America, a conservative group who was a sponsor and had a booth in the exhibition hall at CPAC:

Student: …I apologize on behalf of the Muslim terrorists, but you have to understand there's 1.5 billion with a 'B' [Muslims in the world] and there are .0000005 that did the terrorism, when you call people ragheads--and I met the president, I mean, he asked me to come work for him, I met the vice president--I mean it kind of turns a lot of Muslim Americans off, and it's kind of hard to recruit them… (unintelligible because of clapping) please, please, please, please, don't say raghead.

Coulter: You know, ok. I made a few jokes, and they killed 3000 Americans--fair trade (cheering comes in so she doesn't have to actually answer a difficult question from a supporter).

And then this question in the same vein a few minutes later, which was rebuffed equally easily--

Student: Thanks for coming down and regaling us with your wit (gets hit on by Coulter). What I wanted to know was when are you planning on expanding your whole routine to cover blacks, Jews and Asians.

Coulter: What do you mean? (murmers of disbelief and discontent from the crowd)

S: Well, you know, they're kind of the good people to make fun of nowadays…

C: Oh, ok--maybe when they fly planes into our skyscrapers (again, conveniently cut off by audience applause so she doesn't have to answer the tough questions…)

Great. I managed to hold down my lunch and hold back my tears, which I considered quite a feat--AND somehow Conventioneer and I had it in us to stay and listen to Ken Mehlman (chairman of the RNC) and Sen. Bill Frist. I'll post on them before I head out tomorrow--this is about all I can handle today.

And one more note from Coulter's speech--she mentioned that she's "glad we have all the pretty girls on our side," which left me, an undercover female operative, completely unsure if I should clap or feel insulted. With Coulter, though, it's a safe bet that I was supposed to be insulted.

Fortunately, I met up with my spectacular roommates as soon as I left CPAC, so I'm ready for a night to recharge. Check back tomorrow as Conventioneer and I venture into the world of panels like "Conservative College Students" and "The State of the Campus." And! an updated swag count after a day of vindictive booth canvassing.