I have been on the recieving end of some pretty nasty comments. As a gay man, I have endured some comments on the streets of Pittsburgh and Las Vegas. Mostly its a cowardly man in a passing truck or car yelling "fag" out the window and quickly rolling their window back up and speeding away. It hurts when its directed at you specifically, but it also motivates you to try to change it as well.
I recently had a very insulting experience with an old high school classmate I ran into with some friends. He went on a tirade about what he called "hood Niggers" for about 10 minutes. When I interjected that I found his remarks incredibly insensitive and insulting, he attempted to clarify the differences between "regular black guys" and "niggers" for me. When that only infuriated me further, he attempted to explain that he has black friends and that even they know the difference between two, as if it was an excuse for blantent racism. . Not only had he just insulted an entire racial minority, he then went on to insult my intelligence by insinuating that "everyone" knows what he was talking about.
It was the first time I have ever directly witnessed blatent racism. Deep inside the anger built up, and I wanted to punch him in the face, but my better side handled the situation and I calmly walked away. I let him know that it wasn't right to make comments such as that, but he never appologized for it, only tried to make excuses. I have no idea what brought on the tirade, but I wont soon forget it. It made me realize that even among my generation there is a lack of sophisication and sensibility about race. It does motivate me to want to try to change it, so in that respect it was an insight into racism I likely wouldn't have had otherwise.
I don't know how many times I have to hear people tell me to relax for getting upset and/or telling them what I think they're saying is offensive.
When my friend told me about some "faggot" trying to hit on him and I told him how I felt about people using words like that, he told me to chill with the political correctness because we were just having a casual conversation and that I know he doesn't hate gay people so I should have "just let it slide".
And it's just one incident on top of so many others when I hear people saying something with racist/sexist/homophobic undertones that I say something against it and I come out as the one with the problem. I"m either too obsessed with "political correctness", "must be in a foul mood", or am "lacking social skills".
I find it strange/incredibly frustrating that the person who refrains from using such language and feels compelled to help others stop using that language is the one who supposedly needs help socializing. And the fact that he went on a diatribe in defense about how he's been discriminated against as a minority as the reason for why I shouldn't find it offensive, but not as a reason why me might have been wrong in saying it, just makes it even worse.
I find incidents like this one becoming more and more common all the time now. When I was younger I would let things "slide" very often, even if was directed at me specifically, but I refuse to now, even if the comment isn't directed at me and this is the typical response.
But I find myself more aggravated when I hear things from people who I had considered intelligent people with political awareness than I do if I hear it from those I'd expect it from. But the worst part is, I don't think it matters because to them I just come off as being stuck up or something, so I'm the one who's wrong/with the problem and they still see no reason to change their actions/stop using those words. But if I don't say anything at all, then essentially I'm saying that it's fine to speak that way when it's not. So, I feel like it's a no win situation.
Does anyone else find themself in this situation often and if so how do you deal with it?
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I recently had a very insulting experience with an old high school classmate I ran into with some friends. He went on a tirade about what he called "hood Niggers" for about 10 minutes. When I interjected that I found his remarks incredibly insensitive and insulting, he attempted to clarify the differences between "regular black guys" and "niggers" for me. When that only infuriated me further, he attempted to explain that he has black friends and that even they know the difference between two, as if it was an excuse for blantent racism. . Not only had he just insulted an entire racial minority, he then went on to insult my intelligence by insinuating that "everyone" knows what he was talking about.
It was the first time I have ever directly witnessed blatent racism. Deep inside the anger built up, and I wanted to punch him in the face, but my better side handled the situation and I calmly walked away. I let him know that it wasn't right to make comments such as that, but he never appologized for it, only tried to make excuses. I have no idea what brought on the tirade, but I wont soon forget it. It made me realize that even among my generation there is a lack of sophisication and sensibility about race. It does motivate me to want to try to change it, so in that respect it was an insight into racism I likely wouldn't have had otherwise.