Vanity Fair recently published a very intriguing article on the state of the American man today.  Compared to the man “that won the West,” today’s man is plagued by confusion, unrealistic and insatiable expectations of success, and an eroding ideal of fatherhood.  Men are confused about their role and their relationships.  And further worried by society’s pressures for economic success, men’s self esteem is driven solely on this.  Even with huge success, it’s still easy to feel like a failure.  James Wolcott, the author of the article, refers to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s reaction to a New York Times article about extreme success on Wall Street.  He says “In a really good year, I can make a few hundred thousand dollars, which by any standard should be considered enough.  But compared to these bonus billionaires, I was nothing.  A big zero.  I didn’t even rate.”  And even worse to Wolcott is the failing image of fatherhood.  Not only is there a perception that all men are destined to be “deadbeat dads,” but this attitude has trickled down into our legal system.  Today, when men’s fulfillment comes from being a dad, our society has shortchanged men by deconstructing the idea. 

While the article was thought-provoking and relevant, I’d have to say that while trying to escape some stereotypes of gender, the author fell into other ones just as harmful.  For example, defining manhood as fatherhood is forcing men to fit into yet another box.  In addition, Wolcott almost blames the rise in women’s power for this loss of masculinity.  While he attempts to comment on stark gender inequalities, particularly in representation in government and business, he also says “in the shaky ground of the post-feminist era, gone is the gritty confidence that won the West.”  Finally, some of the issues that the author raises (such as economic success) are not unique to men.  Many women feel the some of the same pressures to succeed and face the same risk of failure heightened by breaking through barriers to achieving such success.  Although the pressure may take a different toll on men, I think this suggests less about changing masculinity and more about the values of our society. 

Just as women often are forced to have many roles (employee, wife, mother, etc.), men also face finding the same balance.  But the bottom line is that as women’s roles are changing, both in the home and outside, men’s roles will inevitability change as well.  But I’m not sure this should be seen as a loss in masculinity.