Free Food-A-Thon Finals: Part Three

Even after a few bowls of gazpacho and a plate of shrimp, I still had room for more. The white chocolate ganache almost put me over the edge, but I talked myself out of slowing down.
“This is the Free Food-A-Thon finals,” the voice inside my head kept saying. “This is what separates the interns from the eaters. The one-luncheon losers from the hotel-hopping heroes.”

But I didn’t want to settle for hero. As any kid who grew up watching The Sandlot will tell you, “Heroes get remembered. But legends never die.”

Wait for it…wait 43 seconds for it to be precise…

I wanted to be a legend. And I knew just what I had to do.

I stood up in the middle of Walter Pincus’ speech and stormed out of the foreign policy conference in search of my next conquest.

After downing a complimentary glass of watermelon-honeydew-cantaloupe-infused water in the lobby, I marched out of the Westin, straight down 14th Street to the J.W. Marriott Hotel which had gained a reputation among free food finders for its huge expo rooms in the basement where the wait staff was too busy collecting dishes to monitor whether the guests in the buffet line were all real “guests.”

The rumors were true. I had to weasel my way around construction in the lobby, but no concierges dared block my pursuit. I took the elevator down to the Ballroom Level where all 12 salons (check out the floor plan to get a sense of how much space we’re talking) were in use by real estate trust and insurance companies exhibiting their wares and perhaps “exchanging best practices” (what else do you do you do at conferences? Oh right, eat the free food!)

I feigned interest in a few tri-fold posters (which brought me back to the days of middle school science fairs) and veered toward the victuals.

To accommodate all those insurance brokers and best practice exchangers, the Marriott put out three lines of their 11-course “Taste of Italy.” The conference hosts apparently shelled out $49.50 a person, according to the Marriott’s catering menu (see page 22), and I was determined to see that their money was not spent in vain.

I regretfully passed on the tomato florentine soup, the arugula salad with pancetta, and the tortellini antipasta with black olives and salami. But I made sure to get a taste of the menu’s prime offerings: chicken piccata, potato gnocchi with asparagus and tomatoes, gorgonzola ravioli with sautéed sausage and onions, and (drum roll…remember this is FREE…keep the drum roll…$8 less than Cosí and 8 times less stingy than their salad makers who won’t throw in three measly cubes of rubber chicken without charging me an arm and a leg…drum roll) veal scallopini with marsala sauce!

I’m not even going to say anymore about this trip. Actually one more thing. I had one bite of the tiramisu just because there were trays of it scattered throughout the expo area and I was curious to see why they were pushing it so hard. That one bite was buttery enough to warrant a photo. I’m not too fond of my photography but I was fond of that tiramisu.