*I would like to dedicate this post to Thomas for being the best supervisor ever. In the history of the world.*

Today has been rather hectic for me. Not only did I arrive two hours late for work, having slept through my alarm, but I had absolutely no plans for the final day of the illustrious Free Food-A-Thon. My competitors confidently sauntered around the office as I spent an hour searching the internet in a minor state of crisis, looking for any event that I could attend. By midday, I had given up looking and decided to head to Capitol Hill without any plans whatsoever.

I wandered aimlessly around the area until I spotted the Heritage Foundation. I knew that no public events had been scheduled for today, but with all that money, they must have had some food somewhere. 

I give you my conversation with the Heritage front desk ladies:

Me: Hi! This might sound strange but I'm an intern and part of my assignment for today is to find free food. You wouldn't happen to have any free food here, would you?

H: Um...

Me: I'm feeling somewhat desperate. Any help you could give me would be great.

H: We only have private events going on today.

Me: Do you think I could just pop in for a few minutes?

H: No.

Me: Okay, thanks…  

(I can’t help feeling that this dialogue is a little symbolic of their policies on social welfare).

Even with my Heritage hopes so brutally thwarted, I forged onward. After all, a day's worth of scavenging for food had given me an adorably disheveled appearance. How could anyone refuse me a morsel or two? But after receiving only bemused indifference at several more buildings, I began to think that all my chances of Food-A-Thon victory were lost. Then I spotted the Friends Committee on National Legislation and my spirits lifted. With all the peace signs hanging from their windows, I knew that the Quakers couldn’t possibly turn me away.

And they didn't! The woman at the front desk kindly directed me downstairs to their conference on Columbian women and labor rights. I saw the food before I entered the conference, and what a feast it was! I grabbed two roast beef sandwiches, a container of pesto pasta and three unidentifiable, but delicious baked goods. Munching on my food, I grabbed a chair in the conference room where several women had begun to share their experiences as union organizers in Columbia. They spoke about the dangers they had encountered trying to fight for labor rights in their home countries--several women had been kidnapped or threatened by their government or paramilitary groups. Imagine the remorse I felt when I realized that my day’s biggest hurdle had been the Free Food-A-Thon competition.

After hours of meandering along the sweltering streets of Capitol Hill,  I discovered that if you have the heart and ingenuity, free food is never too far away. Although Zack "I'm an Ivy Leaguer" Marks and Ben "Quiet Storm" Regenspan might have dined on veal and crabcakes, it was Kate Monster who truly learned the value of a free meal.