..And in other shocking news, the sky is blue! The Pope is Catholic! Economists are myopic!

The Washington Post has a great article today about how many national political figures who live in DC, and are "representing" DC at the DNC next week, are clueless about DC itself:

Harold Ickes is the prototypical insider, a career political operative who knows as much about how Washington works as anyone. Just don't ask the former Clinton White House official and Democratic superdelegate what ward he lives in.

"Oh boy," Ickes said recently by phone. "It's either 2 or 7. I live in Georgetown."

Or who represents him on the D.C. Council.

"Don't know."

Or the name of the public schools chancellor.

"I don't know the name, an Asian woman."

If Ickes isn't plugged into the local political scene -- correct answers: Ward 2, Jack Evans and Michelle A. Rhee -- that's because there have long been two separate and distinct Washingtons. One is federal, the other local, and rarely do those in these two worlds think of one another.

Though that last sentence isn't really correct. I know the writer was going for a semblance of "balance," but the fact is that local-DC politicians are acutely aware of what's happening on Capitol Hill. Congress has veto power over DC, and not vice-versa. Reminds me of the roving racists in Youth for Western Civilization, hosting Tom Tancredo speeches in diverse communities.

Perhaps it's best described by stealing a line from Stephen Colbert's epic win of a Correspondents Dinner performance: "DC is a chocolate city too, with a marshmallow center."

Yesterday marked the official (albeit soft) opening of Columbia Heights newest eatery: CommonWealth. The premise is upscale English pub far (think English food, but not gross).

Here's what I thought:

Next week is DC's Summer Restaurant Week!

In case you didn't know, this is where local restaurants offer up a prix fixe menu at $20.08 for lunch and $35.08 for dinner. While that may sound uncheap, consider that many of the restaurants participating are the best in the city.

Beware, though, as not everyone offers a good menu. Here's how you choose a restaurant:

So you may have noticed that there's fewer people around. This is an annual occurance known as the August Slowdown (aka the August Exodus). Congress is out of session, and it's hot as all hell, so many take this opportunity to leave town (I'm planning to be out of town 14 of the remaining 26 days of the month).

Basically, in August you're left with a third of the population. One third goes on a real vacation. Another third goes to Ocean City/Rehobeth (and sometimes Virginia Beach). The rest stay and sweat among the tourists.

Take this opportunity to hit up places you've been meaning to, but have otherwise been too busy. The typical tourist hot spots will still be crowded, but anything outside of monumental earshot should be entertaining reduced audiences.

Tomorrow night at the 9:30 Club should be a dance-y good time (provided that people actually dance, but that's a discussion for another day) for those who enjoy Garage/Rockabilly/R&B/Surf music.

The opening act is none other than DC's own The Hall Monitors. I saw them earlier this year at DC9 opening for The Woggles, and they were super fun. We bought them some beers after the show and hung out with them for a little bit. Ginger (the chick) kicks ass.

The headliner is Southern Culture on the Skids, a group out of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. From what I've heard of them, they throw in some humor in their performances and can get a bit raunchy ... which I always appreciate.

So go and dance (seriously, if you go and don't dance, you are worthless).

If you haven't heard, every year The Hill puts out it's list of the 50 most beautiful people on Capitol Hill. Like everything else on the Hill, the selection is highly political, requires a good deal of behind-the-scenes organizing and bargaining, and the results aren't always what they should be (Sen. John "my-wrinkles-have-wrinkles" Warner and Rep. Vito "combover" Fossella made the list).

I really wanted to degrade all these folks and mock The Hill's lack of basic literary skills, but The DCeiver beat me to the punch.

Being originally from New York (OK, upstate, but I have discerning tastes with roots in NYC), I'm a perpetual complainer about two things: bagels and pizza (I would complain about cheesecake, but have accepted the fact that nowhere can come close to Junior's). Having all but given up on a finding a good bagel in this town (there are edible bagels; there are even halway decent ones; there are no good bagels). I'm in the same predicament with pizza. It's not that there aren't delicious pizza options out there, it's that none of them are my ideation of what pizza should be.

However, I've managed to quell my inner rage by adopting every Washingtonian's guilty pleasure as a proxy: jumbo slice.

I know I've mentioned it before, but seriously people, if you are on a crowded train, move to the center of the car.

This morning, there was some issue on the Green line, and I had to wait 9 minutes after just missing a train. After that 9 minutes, I had to wait an additional 4. You want to know why? Because the stupid and selfish people on the train DID NOT MOVE TO THE CENTER OF THE CAR. Blame also goes to the train operator who decided to close the doors instead of waiting until I (along with some other kind folks) tried to find a place to squeeze in. Let this be a warning to the DC metropolitan area: If you do not move to the center of the car, you WILL incur my wrath.

So will all this hubbub about the Free Food-a-thon, my appetite has been whetted. But I crave not free food, I crave absolute deliciousness. Luckily, some of my favorites around town ain't hard on the wallet.

So you love your bus options for getting to other towns.

However, the DDOT has them in their sights.

So one of the best things about DC is how easy it is to travel up and down the East Coast. It can be cheap, too. You just have to take the bus. Sometimes it can be a hassle, but let's be honest Amtrak's no charm (and as expensive as flying) and air travel is in shambles right now.

It used to be that your only options were between a Chinatown bus and Greyhound, neither particularly appealing. But, with the introduction of competition, all buses to NY (and Philly) have noticeably improved.

Here are your options:

This weekend, there's going to be scheduled track maintenance on the Blue and Yellow lines from 7 a.m. Saturday until 7 p.m. Sunday resulting in single-tracking between Pentagon City and Braddock Road.

Metro advises you add 35 minutes to your travel plans:

"To alleviate train congestion through the single track location, every other Yellow Line train traveling in the direction of Huntington and every other Blue Line train traveling in the direction of Franconia-Springfield will terminate at Pentagon City Metrorail station and return to Fort Totten and Largo Town Center Metrorail stations respectively. All other Blue and Yellow Line trains traveling between Pentagon City and Huntington/Franconia Springfield Metrorail stations will operate every 36 minutes. "
[emphasis added]