Under Review
We review an addictive board game, a guilty-pleasure reality show, and more.
By Campus Progress
May 1, 2009
About as addictive as crack.
BOARD GAME
Settlers of Catan
Klaus Teber/Mayfair Games
Released: 1995
According to my Gmail archives, I made a serious blunder on April 2. I emailed my housemates asking them if they’d be interested in playing Settlers of Catan, a wildly popular German board game I had just read about in a lengthy Wired feature, if I ordered it from Amazon. They were, I did, and our lives haven’t been the same since.
Just as Wired noted, Settlers, which has only recently caught on in the United States, is frighteningly addictive. It’s rare that the housemates and I go more than two days without someone wanting to break it out. The game’s setup is simple: An unspoiled island, consisting of 19 hexagonal tiles, lies before you and your opponents. Who can earn ten “victory points” by building roads, settlements, cities, and other features of civilization the fastest? Every turn, each player has a chance at earning resources toward this end.
The game benefits from some brilliant leveling mechanisms. Whoever is winning at a given point is the most likely target of the “robber,” a pawn that is placed on one hex at a time, sapping that hex of all resource production. And anyone with seven or more resource cards loses half of them whenever a seven is rolled. The result of all this fine-tuning is a game that always ends up being quite close; usually, the second-place player has 8 or 9 victory points and was only a turn or two from winning. Settlers is also endlessly replayable, since the layout of the island is shuffled before each game.
None of the game’s charms fully translate into text. All I can do is implore you to find someone with a copy and play it. It will make you feel like a nerd, and it will devour far more of your time than you ever thought a board game could, but the experience will be worth it.
10 out of 10 dorkily misspent spring nights
-Jesse Singal
Rawr.
TV
The Cougar
TV Land PRIME
Airs: Wednesdays at 10:00 pm EST
To hear host Vivica A. Fox tell it, The Cougar, a new reality dating show on the TV Land network (the lead-in is The Andy Griffith Show—I would not joke about this) is the television equivalent of hearing the Jonas Brothers for the first time—it will literally change your life—or, at the very least, the way you look at dating—forever! Except that this particular show has been done before and, well, cougars are so 2003. No matter, though. Once your self-inflicted feelings of shame subside, you’ll find The Cougar undeniably entertaining to watch.
You probably already know the premise, but just in case: Hot 40-year-old lives in a gaudy mansion with 20 “cubs” under 30, dates them, takes a few of them back to her “Cougar Den” and, after several weeks of eliminations, winds up with her “true love.” The coug, Stacey Anderson, is likable enough. She’s spunky, athletic, and because she has four kids at home, seems somewhat serious about embarking on a long-term relationship with one of the young lads.
Unfortunately for our girl Stacey, the pickings are pretty slim. Exhibit A: In the first episode, the guys are tasked with wooing Stacey with their best pick-up lines. Kevin, a self-described “Southern Gentleman” asks Stacey if she’d like to try an “Australian kiss…like a French kiss, but down under.” Thanks for playing, Kevin!
If the previews are any indication, the guys will engage in some fisticuffs and verbal sparring as they all like totally start falling for her, bro. It doesn’t matter though, because the show’s all about Vivica A. Fox. Not since Paula Abdul has a be-jeweled trainwreck warranted so much screen time. Just try to watch this video preview without falling in love.
8 out of 10 dudes who are totally not there to make friends
-Katie Andriulli
Big Bang = big hit in our book.
TV
The Big Bang Theory
CBS
Airs: Mondays at 8:00 pm EST
Now in its second season, The Big Bang Theory follows the trials of four twentysomething geniuses (read: geeks) and their actress wannabe neighbor (read: Cheesecake Factory waitress).
Most characters and episodes fall within some basic parameters:
-Penny (Kaley Cuoco, M8 Simple Rules) makes fun of the guys for playing World of Warcraft or paintball, only to become addicted herself
-Leonard (John Galecki, Roseanne) likes Penny, but is the nice guy who finishes last
-Sheldon (Jim Parsons from Stride Gum ads), who seems to have Asperger’s, knows he is better than everyone else, but complicates simple situations with neurotic behavior
-Howard (Simon Helberg, Mad TV) terrifies women he attempts to sleep with
-Raj (Kunal Nayyar, nothing) is too terrified to talk to women unless he’s drunk
The Big Bang Theory is at its best when Sheldon’s neurotic tendencies interject into the storyline, but at its worst when they dominate the show. Like Kramer in Seinfeld and Will Ferrell in everything, Sheldon’s shtick works best when you’re left wanting more of it.
The show manages to seem relevant even within the confines of the traditional three-camera setup by consistently incorporating pop culture (and geek culture). Other sitcoms may reference Facebook, texting, and Google, but this one is a bit more comfortable with Halo and Comic-Con.
I have only two grievances: Penny works at a Cheesecake Factory that looks more like a Big Boy, and Warner Brothers nixed the ability to watch episodes online. Other than that, though, the show is definitely worth checking out. And it’s been renewed through 2011, so there’s no reason not to.
9 out of 10 Star Trek movies
-Drew Seman
Use your head. Or half of it, at least.
BLOG
1001 Rules for my Unborn Son
Walker Lamond
Launched: May 2008
If you’re a guy who likes to read lad mags like Details or GQ, you’ll love 1001 Rules for my Unborn Son. A mix of lifestyle suggestions, sartorial tips, and general advice, the blog is a veritable (and free) how-to guide for a certain type of young man growing up in the modern world.
The site is written by 33-year-old filmmaker Walker Lamond as a way to “preserve” the lessons his late father passed on to him as a child. As the Washington, D.C. native writes on his site, he just wants to “get some things straight before [he gets] old and uncool.” Things like: “If you’ve made your point, stop talking”; “A t-shirt is neither a philosophy nor an advertisement. It’s a shirt. Wear it plain”; and “Don’t underestimate your fertility.”
It’s easy to waste hours on the site. Interspersed between Lamond’s nuggets of wisdom are classic songs, eye-popping illustrations, and smart-yet-maybe-predictable quotes. The site itself is aesthetically pleasing, too: simple yet interesting, plain but classic and cool.
There are, of course, some criticisms: I don’t understand why the advice is only directed at offspring with penises. The rules for a well-lived life shouldn’t come with caveats. And for someone who seems so forward thinking, why does Lamond assume—in tips like, “Be subtle. She sees you.”—his son (who is now no longer unborn) will dig chicks?
To be fair, Lamond culled his list from his own experience with his father, who lived in less enlightened times. But Lamond has admitted to updating parts of the site to fit the standards of the twentieth century. “My father’s sartorial advice was impeccable, but he didn’t have much to offer on internet etiquette,” Lamond joked to the Daily Telegraph. He also probably didn’t spend too much time thinking about how stereotypes about gender and sexuality can cripple a child’s experience growing up. But that doesn’t mean we—Lamond included—shouldn’t either.
6 out of 10 fatherly talks
-Rob Anderson
See, crippling dependency is funny.
TV
Grey Gardens
HBO Films
Premiered: April 18, 2009
Grey Gardens, like so many HBO productions, is addictive. I even dreamed about it afterward. The film is an adaptation of a documentary (which has also been adapted into a Broadway play) with the same name. It’s a real story about relatives of Jackie Kennedy Onassis: her aunt, “Big Edie” Bouvier Beale (Jessica Lange), and her cousin, Big Edie’s daugther, “Little Edie” Bouvier Beale (Drew Berrymore), who live on a decaying estate called Grey Gardens in East Hampton.
Aside from the stellar performances of Lange and Barrymore, possibly what’s most interesting about this film is the two women’s dependency on others. The Bouvier Beales are members of the American aristocracy, entirely dependent on Big Edie’s ex-husband for their living expenses. When he passes away, he leaves a small trust for them. Early in the film Little Edie leaves for New York City to try to “make it” as a model and actress, but after she goes through a devastating breakup her mother insists she return home. Slowly these women burn through their trust, which eventually runs out. The house crumbles so badly the local health board tries to evict them. They are terrified and only saved by the kindness—or rather, attempts to prevent embarrassment—of Little Edie’s cousin, Jackie (Big Love’s Jeanne Tripplehorn).
It’s true that the problems of these two women, who come from the wealthy elite, have aren’t representative of what most women go through. But watching them still provides a fascinating look at what happens when assumed privilege disappears.
6 out of 10 former members of high society
-Kay Steiger
Jesse Singal and Kay Steiger are associate editors at Campus Progress. Katie Andriulli is the communications and outreach manager at Campus Progress. Drew Seman is an online communications associate at Campus Progress. Rob Anderson is editor of Campus Progress.
Social Bookmarking
--------
Comments
!
